If you believe in Miracles or Apocalypse Vow Redux

Now:

If you haven't heard, I just got married. Everything went off without a hitch on the wedding day. Just perfect... All my groomsmens' jackets fit perfectly. Everyone had a seat a the reception.  I was well rested. I said my vows flawlessly and aridly. That is...

If you believe in miracles. Most of my groomsmen's tuxes didn't fit properly.We got up at about 6 am to drive an hour and a half  to get 2 of my groomsmen new coats and pants (me and my best man scoenheim of light and sean(sidenote of the sidenote: sean and I go waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy back. I'm talking kindergarten. We got paddled in the princpal's office...for what i don't remember....Scoe and I got waaaaaaaayyyy back too...he helped me on the bus in kindergarten when I forgot my bus number, apparently kindergarten didn't go too well for me....)). Some people didn't R.S.V.P for the reception. I am not saying who didn't. It can't be proven who showed up without one...So let's drop it okay?! Okay!(seriously though, my wife thinks it was my side of the family but I don't think so...it does sound like something we'd do...but you won't hear me say it!!)! But, I did do one thing right amid all the craziness: I married the love of my life...

It went like this:

[the pastor adorned in ceremonial robes cues the blushing bridegroom]

Me: Do you remember the first time I said 'I love you'?

Sugar Bear(yes, sugar bear): I was in Amsterdam and you left it on my voicemail. I remember you saying 'whoops' and hanging up real fast

Me[chuckles slightly]: I said 'whoops' because I didn't want to say it then. I wanted it to be in a meadow with daisies and nymphs playing hand-fashioned lutes and sunshine and orchids. I wanted to be looking intently into your eyes while I held your hand. I wanted it to be perfect, but life doesn't do perfect. Over the phone wasn't how i planned it at all! That's how I know God had to be involved. It didn't come out when I wanted it to but it was right on time. At a point in time where a new relationship was tested. At a time when you were the farthest you have ever been away from me. I was in Kinston and you were in Washington. I was in Jersey and you were in Durham. But, this time you were like a billion miles away. I missed you more that I had ever missed anything in my life. My mouth spoke what my mind wasn't ready to admit, but my heart had already decided.

I promise from this day and forever more to never ever ever be that far away from you again in mind, body, or spirit.

I said 'whoops' then but I promise I will never accidentally say  love you. I will say it loudly and proudly laying, walking, and breathing right next to you in a meadow or or a mountain or a cardboard box.

I promise to try my best to make this momentous day, the most special day in our lives so far, the least special day in our lives forever more...

I promise to work every day to be worthy of your undying devotion and love...

I promise to the best husband you have ever had or ever will have...

I promise to love being in love with you forever

And I promise to never break this promise...

End scene

It went exactly like that. That is...

If you believe in miracles. If you are not one of the 173 people my mama has dubbed the wedding video for, It actually went like this:

[the pastor adorned in ceremonial robes cues the blushing bridegroom]

Me: I...I...I...forgot what I was going to say...[sobbing]...I [sobbing] promise to be the best....

[End scene]

I actually don't remember how it went exactly after that. That day was a blur! I was on about 3 hours sleep and probably still metabolizing the night before's activities...And, if you think I am going to watch myself cry you are sadly mistaken. It's bad enough that there is video evidence of my ocular oozing. I may not have said everything I wanted to say with the rhetorical flourish to which those who have heard me orate have become accustomed, but the same idea was conveyed:

I love you sugar bear and I am happy to be your husband every single day...

Happy Valentine's Day!

You say, "...but not only is it NOT valentine's day, it isn't even the same month"

Fair enough. Let's try this again:

Happy Thurs Day, Honey!!!

Bruce Eagle the full married....Peace!!!