I wonder how Al Gore feels on President's Day?
I would surmise a Nobel Prize softens that melancholy he has to be feeling, you know, winning the Presidency and not actually being president and all. However, Nobel Prize Winner does not have quite the zing as "the most powerful man in the world."
But, seriously though, I heard that Al Gore won the Nobel Prize on the news one morning half-sleep. I got up thinking, "That was a weird dream. What the hell am I dreaming about Al Gore for?"...
One thing that solidifies that humans are hell bent on destroying themselves: Alfred Nobel gave the world dynamite. A wonder that can be used to literally move mountains, which was Nobel's purpose. What did we do with this beauty? We used it on each other as if mere rock or stone...
I admit I get disappointed at the human race sometimes, but there are still souls out there that make me believe there is some good in humans: Jesus, MLK jr., Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Al Gore, Ed Begley Jr., Kurt Vonnegut, Ingrid Newkirk(the president of PETA. Hey this chick is crazy, granted, but the love and the ethics are there, albeit for dogs but I am glad she is standing for something)...etc. The list goes on...Thanks guys. You keep me plugging away.
You see that Lindsay Lohan has some nude pics out there? Man, she held out longer than i thought she would though. Seriously, they were pretty tasteful. While viewing them( you know i had to see for myself i just cant report unverified information or at least thats the story im going with) I was ambivalent. On one hand, I hated to see someone with such a promising career not too long ago have to do this to regain her fame. People, out of all the pop starlets out there getting into trouble, Lindsay has the most talent. And, dare I say, she is actually talenTED. I want to see her back in features again(Prarie Home Companion was great and so was "Mean Girls" suprisingly). Lets support a celebutante that has talent even though she may be a bit misguided. Now, on the other hand, I thought the previous, but at the same time i thought, "MAN, she has a great, wonderous, mellifluous, gorgeous, rack." Hey, what can I say, I am a fan(of boobies, anyway. the always classy Bruce Eagle, Ladies and Gentlemen)
I haven't asked this question in a while but i feel everyone out there should use this question to evaluate their career. I will ask this question until it is irrelevant: do you have the job security of Isaiah Thomas?
Shit, i dont. I dont think even God has his job security...
What if Jesus were just a man who heard voices? What if mohammed were just a man who hallucinated? Arent' their words still just as powerful, meaningful, and wise?
BTW, Jesus never preached hate of any one person(thats right abortion clinic bombers, gay haters). Remember, love the sinner, hate the sin? Mohammed never meant for people to kill the "infidels."(infidels represent evil in general not solely non-believers) Do you know the Qu'ran is one of the most poetic, beautiful pieces of work I have ever had the pleasure of reading(not the whole thing mind you, I aint gonna front). Both religions(violent throughout history...christians, remember the inquisition? hmmm...?) have calls to arms for its followers but only when its necessary. Both founders knew that you would have to fight for what you believe in when oppressed by the unenlightened masses. This is not a call to go out and kill b/c someone does not subscribe to your thinking, simply defend YOUR position when it is THREATNED. Everyone has the right to believe what they want, not just you(or shall i say "us"being i am a christian and all)...
Let's say you are on the cusp of the opportunity to make kajillions of dollars, ensuring your family's well-being for generations but you have to irrevocably mar your body(genitalia especially) to get that extra lift to the big time. Would you do it? Ill give you a sec...ok...took you a while didnt it?So, can you really blame some atheletes for doing steroids? Keyser Sose said in the "Usual Suspects", "The man who wins the war is the one who is willing to do what the other man won't." BINGO!!! Arent steroid takers just the ones who won the war?
So, lets cut all the sanctimony towards the individual steroid users. They just wanted it more. You and I could have taken steroids and made it to the bigs, but I like my balls too much, personally. Now, taking steroids is not the biggest problem this country is facing(you could put 1000 syringes end over end and still not touch the gravity of our health care situation), but I admit that we did need to address this issue on a national level(i could have done without all the congressional grandstanding but hey) to let teenagers fully know all the risks involved or have a forum to present such. I hear folks chastise a steroid user on a personal level. You wanna call him or her(haven't forgot you Marion) cheater thats fine, but we all cheat. Wanna call them liars thats fine, but we all lie. Just dont start talking about he is less of a man this and despicable in nature that. Those are pretty strong words for someone who is really only directly hurting himself. However, the one thing that DOES make me mad about all of this steroid talk is:
Being patronized. Now, when someone lies about steroids thats cool(not cool rather tolerable). I mean, what the hell do you expect them to do, but when you start coming all out of your face with utter nonsense(*cough* roger clemens*cough*) and expect me to swallow it like a tablespoon of sugar with a dose of cod liver oil(btw, that shit dont work cod liver oil is still nasty as hell), this is when I get a little pissed. At this point, Roger, you are insulting our intelligence, you bastard. Just ADMIT IT GODDAMN IT AND STOP WITH ALL THIS NONSENSE so we can move on with our lives(or at least stop hearing about this shit. I dont know about you but I am not sitting in my room crying over this. However, I would like to listen to my ESPN radio without ROGE all over) ...
Someone said that "cursing gives people a reason not to listen to you" Umm, whatever. If you have seen a curse word from me and stop reading me, GREAT!!! You were apparently reading too superficially anyway. I use curse words sparingly(hahaha well not as much as Richard Pryor at least) and use them when i want to express the gravity of a situation or intense anger at one. After all, isnt a curse word just a word someone told you NOT to say(except damn and the phrase "go to hell" those are truly the only "words of curse")? If someone told you ice cream was a curse from day one, you would not say that either. Stop being sheep!!! If my words offended you, I am sorry(kinda), but use your judgment in what you truly find offensive in nature not just a few particular words. (ok it was vonnegut who said the previous quote in "Hocus Pocus" i just quote that man entirely too much...)
You ever notice i say "seriously" or "seriously though" and still proceed to make a joke? Weird huh...
Seriously though, Why the fuck dont we have a universal health care system for infants and the elderly, AT LEAST...for Christ's Sake we couldnt start with that and work up? We cant afford that? What the fuck man?...I would PAY MY TAXES FOR THAT...IS THIS NOT A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE??!!!...ok im cool now...sorry. See people can change!!!
I believe the power of the human mind is infinite. You know the saying "We only use 10% of our brain." I think it was Einstein who opined humans would become pure energy if they were to use their mind's full capacity(or i think it was the movie "Powder" but you can never go wrong saying Einstein said something b/c he probably said it at one point or another). I say that to say that if a person believes strongly enough in say an afterlife(heaven, reincarnation, etc), that that person will eventually experience that b/c his or her's mind is attuned to that level of consciousness. Think about it. So maybe what you believe(Christianity, Islam, or absolutely nothing)will eventually be what happens to you. Wouldn't it be nice if EVERYONE was technically right?
Wouldn't it be the ultimate irony if all life's questions were answered in the afterlife when you dont need them anymore?
The hardest thing to do with an LL post is find a way to end it...I think this is as good as any though:
Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!
Ok...This is long overdue. And, given my propensity for potty humor every chance i get, I am just the guy for this..
pee anywhere you want as long as its was in the trough. No, better yet, remember when you would be out with the fellas playing b-ball or baseball or two-hand touch and one person said they had to pee, then everyone had to pee. You would find a ditch or something and all of you would line up and pee in a ditch.
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