Hey, did you know that the top 100 words used according to Oxford Dictionary does not contain the words "Please" or "Thanks" Says a lot dont it?
I heard Joe Biden was caught with performance enhancing drugs...
Saw the new X-men Movie and i am going to give it the review it deserves: eh...
My mom texted me the other day. Outside the fact my mom is texting in the first place, the weirder thing is that she asked me did i have a spare VCR...umm, no mom...
I think Ben franklin does though...
I think its actually more trendy to say you will never twitter than to twitter...
And then of course signing up and actually twittering...
I dont want people who know me to assume that if they say something interesting I will put it in a blog post...
I want them to KNOW I will...
Seriously though, what happened to the buzz on the Simpsons? Noone talks about it anymore...The episode last sunday satirizing the Teaching shortage as well as Tenure enduced apathy was GREAT!!! I hope this isnt indicative of a dumbening(yep, i said it) of the public. I like family guy like the next man but its a simpler show...doesnt have the complex themes as the simpsons...
That brings up a good point though...why does it seem that humans with the largest thinking capacity of all animals (thats if you believe what we do in our heads is "thinking" hey we made up the definition.) do their damnest NOT to think?
Didn't know satiring isnt a word...its, of course, satirizing...Dang, i guess you dont conversate either...WHO'D THUNK IT!!!
I heard that Apache Indian was caught with performance enhancing drugs and a bag of stolen Handi Snacks...
E-NU-CHUCK!!!
If its true that 85-95% of baseball players use steroids, then those guys AREN'T the anomaly...I say the other 5-15% starts using them so we can finally put this to bed...Seriously, if everyone used them they wouldnt be perfomance enhancing drugs b/c they would, in theory, not enhance anything. To say "enhance", there has to be some comparison there to say something gets better. Without that comparison, they would just be "vitamins" That other 5-15% needs to do their part to clean up performance “enhancing” drugs in baseball.
By far my least used punctuation is the apostrophe...I SAY WE BAN THEM ALL...like we dont know something is missing from cant or arent or wont or rashawd (hahaha, mr. superfluous apostrophe ladies and gentlemen)...
I wasn't about to write this today b/c i figured everyone in America and Mexico was dead from Swine flu...If you are reading this, i am so glad you made it through the "epidemic"
Seriously, not to disrespect anyone who has died from the swine flu, but don't call me until at least 1% of the American public has died from the epidemic...Just getting it isnt the problem, its the DYING from it thats the kicker...So, dont be all up in my news getting me all excited...like "We have a swine flu epidemic. we have 150 cases in the US so far.." word, there are 300 million people here(documented that is...if you believe immigration reformists there are at least 750 million americans). 150 isnt even a drop in a bucket, its a loogey in the ocean...
One thing that’s good about the news driven epidemics...the subsequent scare at least proves SOMEONE is watching the news...
they just aint reading no newspapers...
Hey, for all my 26 and up readers...remember when teachers used to give you an assignment like "watch the news or read the paper and write about what you saw"? What would be the assignment today in this internet driven society?? Follow David souter's twittering and write a report??
On that note, WHO IN THE HELL IS DAVID SOUTER...I mean, good looks for freeing up a Supreme Court spot, but never heard of ya bro...
Why is it that we only see Supreme court justices when they retire?? I know they are not nearly as interesting as Jolie's african babies or miley cyrus or miss California’s untimely outspokenness but these men and women are the final word on many of our rights and liberties. Why do we not care more about them??
BTW, I know the verb for the action of using twitter is “tweet” but F-THAT I am a grown ass man “TWEET” should not be in my vocabulary…
Most obscure sidebar of the day: My cellphone makes the one zach morris's had look like an iPhone...
No homo or anything but i wanted an Easy Bake oven so bad when i was a kid...you mean to tell me i can have brownies ANYTIME I WANT!!! IM THERE!!! No i wasnt a sissy just a fattie...
These LL posts are starting to have some coherence to them…I apologize for that…
BTW, most sarcastic LL POST EVER...and loudest…
Ok, The miss California thing. *Sigh* For all the people against gay marriage: its not that you CANT believe that, its just that what does that mean?? You don’t believe in it. This aint santa claus or the tooth fairy…its two people that love each getting together and shacking up What “nonbelief” is indirectly saying is two things: 1) that what someone feels in their heart is wrong. That something that they can’t help is wrong and THEY are in turn wrong. 2) gays and lesbians are a different class of people that arent sacred enough to take part in marriage(with the divorce rate quietly creeping up to 110%. Is it really that “sacred” anymore??). It’s not a choice. I am sorry. I may not have scientific evidence (do I ever??) but who would CHOOSE that life if they couldn’t help it?? Who wants to get beat up for no reason. Who wants people dictating their personal life? Who WANTS that? The only choice they didn’t make was to deny what they felt.
Ok, I am not gonna lie. Homosexuality, for lack of a better word or want to use one, is icky but if you think about it, isn’t heterosexuality, too?? With all its juices and its nice, slow grinding and its hot and sweaty oh so good nastiness and…sorry about that…I’m back
You can like or dislike homosexuality but you have to respect it b/c if nothing else, all fairness and equality aside, this could be you next!! Its all principle here. If they can isolate a group of people and tell them they can’t do something, whats next?? Who’s next?? People with bacon shaped birthmarks cant vote?? Guys with penises smaller than 5 inches cant buy SUV’s? Support gay marriage if for no reason other than it can be you next…
And yes, that was a slippery slope argument…What you gon’ do about it…
Oh yeah, miss California. If that was the reason she lost, then she deserved to lose. I’m sorry. There was no other reason to end her statement with “the way I was raised…blah blah blah…” She had the perfect answer. I am glad we are in America…blah blah blah we can chose. Apparently, we CANT choose everything, but that’s besides the point. The way you were raised a marriage was between a man and a woman…what??? Oh so that was a fundamental part of your upbringing huh?? “Honey, always remember to say please and thank you, look both ways when you are crossing the street, always wear clean underwear, and marriage is only b/t a man and a woman…” Come on now…and if it were so Christian then why didn’t she mention the Lord or the Bible inher answer?? Hmm?? The next day it was all...”oh she is a Christian this and Christian that…” absent from her statement was guess who: CHRIST(who never said anything about gays btw). That was just her opinion and that’s fine but don’t act like she is some martyr…She chose an improper moment to impart her beliefs. In a job interview, you could say you enjoy kicking puppies off rooftops but why would you say that. It’s the job’s right not to hire you just like its perez hilton’s right NOT to vote for her. She could have very easily not said that last part but she just HAD to impart some judgment and she was summarily judged.
By that same token, Perez Hilton needs to calm the hell down…DAMN bro she aint slap your mama…all b***h this and b***h that wasn’t necessary. You really came out like the bigger man there brother…good job.
Haha, the one person who loves this Miss Cali thing the most is Donald Trump. He loves that people are talking about Miss America again w/out the words “Playboy”and “pictures” involved…And by the way, isn’t Miss North Carolina like Ruben Studdard of Miss America Pagents. She actually won, but we got all this hubbub over Clay aik…er, Miss California.
All of this is beside the point. Miss America is a good way to see pretty women in bathing suits but come on, she is by no means a representative for or of America. How many Americans you know keep a trim bikini line and even own an evening gown let alone walk around the crib in one. Let’s be feasible here…She aint lifting trade embargoes with Cuba or nothing…
I am just waiting for someone to come forward with a steroid allegation like “yeah man I think he’s juicing b/c I was in the shower with him after a game and man his balls are shriveled…”
There is a book about A-rod coming out with anonymous sources accusing him of Steroid use…There is an awful lot at stake here. If you are gonna accuse someone of something that strong and it’s not concerning Presidential theft, you need to be a man and give your name…that’s real Bush Jr. league…
What ever happen to just seeing random ass-whooppings…You know you used to be in your neighborhood or block or local bar and a fight’ll start and you got to see SOMEONE get their ass beat…those were the days…now you just go to funerals…
Most obsurerest sidebar of the second half of an LL post: On a map, doesn’t South Carolina look like North Carolina’s balls??
I heard that Ronald McDonald was caught with performance enhancing drugs, a load of dirty underwear and the Burger king’s head in his trunk…
I wonder how many germs are on a bottle of hand sanitizer.
Is it really news Rick Pitino wants to leave Louisville?? He always wants to leave somewhere. He’d want to leave heaven if the devil had a good enough contract and gave him GM responsibilities…
How to spend a Friday at work by Bruce Eagle:
800-930 Breakfast at desk
930-1015-find something that to do that causes you to walk around...Oh you need some mail dropped off? You need some help with a spreadsheet? My pleasure..
I think its actually more trendy to say you will never twitter than to twitter...
And then of course signing up and actually twittering...
I dont want people who know me to assume that if they say something interesting I will put it in a blog post...
I want them to KNOW I will...
Seriously though, what happened to the buzz on the Simpsons? Noone talks about it anymore...The episode last sunday satirizing the Teaching shortage as well as Tenure enduced apathy was GREAT!!! I hope this isnt indicative of a dumbening(yep, i said it) of the public. I like family guy like the next man but its a simpler show...doesnt have the complex themes as the simpsons...That brings up a good point though...why does it seem that humans with the largest thinking capacity of all animals (thats if you believe what we do in our heads is "thinking" hey we made up the definition.) do their damnest NOT to think?
Didn't know satiring isnt a word...its, of course, satirizing...Dang, i guess you dont conversate either...WHO'D THUNK IT!!!
I heard that Apache Indian was caught with performance enhancing drugs and a bag of stolen Handi Snacks...
E-NU-CHUCK!!!
If its true that 85-95% of baseball players use steroids, then those guys AREN'T the anomaly...I say the other 5-15% starts using them so we can finally put this to bed...Seriously, if everyone used them they wouldnt be perfomance enhancing drugs b/c they would, in theory, not enhance anything. To say "enhance", there has to be some comparison there to say something gets better. Without that comparison, they would just be "vitamins" That other 5-15% needs to do their part to clean up performance “enhancing” drugs in baseball.
By far my least used punctuation is the apostrophe...I SAY WE BAN THEM ALL...like we dont know something is missing from cant or arent or wont or rashawd (hahaha, mr. superfluous apostrophe ladies and gentlemen)...
I wasn't about to write this today b/c i figured everyone in America and Mexico was dead from Swine flu...If you are reading this, i am so glad you made it through the "epidemic"Seriously, not to disrespect anyone who has died from the swine flu, but don't call me until at least 1% of the American public has died from the epidemic...Just getting it isnt the problem, its the DYING from it thats the kicker...So, dont be all up in my news getting me all excited...like "We have a swine flu epidemic. we have 150 cases in the US so far.." word, there are 300 million people here(documented that is...if you believe immigration reformists there are at least 750 million americans). 150 isnt even a drop in a bucket, its a loogey in the ocean...
One thing that’s good about the news driven epidemics...the subsequent scare at least proves SOMEONE is watching the news...
they just aint reading no newspapers...
Hey, for all my 26 and up readers...remember when teachers used to give you an assignment like "watch the news or read the paper and write about what you saw"? What would be the assignment today in this internet driven society?? Follow David souter's twittering and write a report??On that note, WHO IN THE HELL IS DAVID SOUTER...I mean, good looks for freeing up a Supreme Court spot, but never heard of ya bro...
Why is it that we only see Supreme court justices when they retire?? I know they are not nearly as interesting as Jolie's african babies or miley cyrus or miss California’s untimely outspokenness but these men and women are the final word on many of our rights and liberties. Why do we not care more about them??
BTW, I know the verb for the action of using twitter is “tweet” but F-THAT I am a grown ass man “TWEET” should not be in my vocabulary…
Most obscure sidebar of the day: My cellphone makes the one zach morris's had look like an iPhone...
No homo or anything but i wanted an Easy Bake oven so bad when i was a kid...you mean to tell me i can have brownies ANYTIME I WANT!!! IM THERE!!! No i wasnt a sissy just a fattie...
These LL posts are starting to have some coherence to them…I apologize for that…
BTW, most sarcastic LL POST EVER...and loudest…
Ok, The miss California thing. *Sigh* For all the people against gay marriage: its not that you CANT believe that, its just that what does that mean?? You don’t believe in it. This aint santa claus or the tooth fairy…its two people that love each getting together and shacking up What “nonbelief” is indirectly saying is two things: 1) that what someone feels in their heart is wrong. That something that they can’t help is wrong and THEY are in turn wrong. 2) gays and lesbians are a different class of people that arent sacred enough to take part in marriage(with the divorce rate quietly creeping up to 110%. Is it really that “sacred” anymore??). It’s not a choice. I am sorry. I may not have scientific evidence (do I ever??) but who would CHOOSE that life if they couldn’t help it?? Who wants to get beat up for no reason. Who wants people dictating their personal life? Who WANTS that? The only choice they didn’t make was to deny what they felt.
Ok, I am not gonna lie. Homosexuality, for lack of a better word or want to use one, is icky but if you think about it, isn’t heterosexuality, too?? With all its juices and its nice, slow grinding and its hot and sweaty oh so good nastiness and…sorry about that…I’m back
You can like or dislike homosexuality but you have to respect it b/c if nothing else, all fairness and equality aside, this could be you next!! Its all principle here. If they can isolate a group of people and tell them they can’t do something, whats next?? Who’s next?? People with bacon shaped birthmarks cant vote?? Guys with penises smaller than 5 inches cant buy SUV’s? Support gay marriage if for no reason other than it can be you next…
And yes, that was a slippery slope argument…What you gon’ do about it…
Oh yeah, miss California. If that was the reason she lost, then she deserved to lose. I’m sorry. There was no other reason to end her statement with “the way I was raised…blah blah blah…” She had the perfect answer. I am glad we are in America…blah blah blah we can chose. Apparently, we CANT choose everything, but that’s besides the point. The way you were raised a marriage was between a man and a woman…what??? Oh so that was a fundamental part of your upbringing huh?? “Honey, always remember to say please and thank you, look both ways when you are crossing the street, always wear clean underwear, and marriage is only b/t a man and a woman…” Come on now…and if it were so Christian then why didn’t she mention the Lord or the Bible inher answer?? Hmm?? The next day it was all...”oh she is a Christian this and Christian that…” absent from her statement was guess who: CHRIST(who never said anything about gays btw). That was just her opinion and that’s fine but don’t act like she is some martyr…She chose an improper moment to impart her beliefs. In a job interview, you could say you enjoy kicking puppies off rooftops but why would you say that. It’s the job’s right not to hire you just like its perez hilton’s right NOT to vote for her. She could have very easily not said that last part but she just HAD to impart some judgment and she was summarily judged.By that same token, Perez Hilton needs to calm the hell down…DAMN bro she aint slap your mama…all b***h this and b***h that wasn’t necessary. You really came out like the bigger man there brother…good job.
Haha, the one person who loves this Miss Cali thing the most is Donald Trump. He loves that people are talking about Miss America again w/out the words “Playboy”and “pictures” involved…And by the way, isn’t Miss North Carolina like Ruben Studdard of Miss America Pagents. She actually won, but we got all this hubbub over Clay aik…er, Miss California.
All of this is beside the point. Miss America is a good way to see pretty women in bathing suits but come on, she is by no means a representative for or of America. How many Americans you know keep a trim bikini line and even own an evening gown let alone walk around the crib in one. Let’s be feasible here…She aint lifting trade embargoes with Cuba or nothing…
I am just waiting for someone to come forward with a steroid allegation like “yeah man I think he’s juicing b/c I was in the shower with him after a game and man his balls are shriveled…”
There is a book about A-rod coming out with anonymous sources accusing him of Steroid use…There is an awful lot at stake here. If you are gonna accuse someone of something that strong and it’s not concerning Presidential theft, you need to be a man and give your name…that’s real Bush Jr. league…What ever happen to just seeing random ass-whooppings…You know you used to be in your neighborhood or block or local bar and a fight’ll start and you got to see SOMEONE get their ass beat…those were the days…now you just go to funerals…
Most obsurerest sidebar of the second half of an LL post: On a map, doesn’t South Carolina look like North Carolina’s balls??
I heard that Ronald McDonald was caught with performance enhancing drugs, a load of dirty underwear and the Burger king’s head in his trunk…
I wonder how many germs are on a bottle of hand sanitizer.
Is it really news Rick Pitino wants to leave Louisville?? He always wants to leave somewhere. He’d want to leave heaven if the devil had a good enough contract and gave him GM responsibilities…
How to spend a Friday at work by Bruce Eagle:
800-930 Breakfast at desk
930-1015-find something that to do that causes you to walk around...Oh you need some mail dropped off? You need some help with a spreadsheet? My pleasure..
1015-1017-do a little work (“like a boss”)
1017-Noon Page 2 Archives on Espn.com
Noon-145 Lunch
146-245-take a dump
245-300 do a little work
300…well, just leave at 3…
We need Nielsen, Elias, or someone to calculate how many times the words “money” and “sex” have been used in Hip-hop and Rnb the past few months...
Let’s clear the air about something ladies: Men don’t think about sex all the time…if we know where our next sex is coming from…If there is game 7 of the finals on, but a girlfriend wants to get a little freaky…the dude is probably gonna wait until the end of the game and then get it on…He knows its gonna be there. Now if he is single and a woman wants to, well Lakers-Celtics are just gonna have to wait. Think about it. If someone knows where his next meal is coming from he doesn’t think about food so much…Now, if the brother is starving…then well, he’s thinking about pink tacos all day long…
Ahh…double entendres…gotta love em.
How does the easter bunny pay his bills every other time of the year?? I mean he has to have like 135 kids right??? He’s a rabbit…
1017-Noon Page 2 Archives on Espn.com
Noon-145 Lunch
146-245-take a dump
245-300 do a little work
300…well, just leave at 3…
We need Nielsen, Elias, or someone to calculate how many times the words “money” and “sex” have been used in Hip-hop and Rnb the past few months...
Let’s clear the air about something ladies: Men don’t think about sex all the time…if we know where our next sex is coming from…If there is game 7 of the finals on, but a girlfriend wants to get a little freaky…the dude is probably gonna wait until the end of the game and then get it on…He knows its gonna be there. Now if he is single and a woman wants to, well Lakers-Celtics are just gonna have to wait. Think about it. If someone knows where his next meal is coming from he doesn’t think about food so much…Now, if the brother is starving…then well, he’s thinking about pink tacos all day long…
Ahh…double entendres…gotta love em.
How does the easter bunny pay his bills every other time of the year?? I mean he has to have like 135 kids right??? He’s a rabbit…Did i already say that in an earlier post?? hmm...cant remember...i say so much...
No lie: I was talking to this guy and he was telling me that a guy he knows has so many kids (29 at last count. Christ man CONDOMS!!!) that the judge in family court said it wouldn’t be fair if he couldn’t give child support for all of them. Wow…real talk…
And finally, Happy Mommas day, Mommy…You truly are a saint. The world thanks you for raising me…hahaha
Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!
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