The Second Knock...

Tupac Shakur. Have you ever heard this man speak? He is eloquent. He is full of pathos and heart, but many would rather focus on the kind of music he chose to make, which is nothing more than a snapshot of the world you gave him and the man you made him become. I say that to say that Mr. Shakur gave an analogy one time for the angst of the disenfranchised toward a prosperous government that exacerbates their already bleak situations. He said “we knock on your door politely to ask for food. You say ‘there isn’t any’, but we smell something cooking. We knock a second time a little less politely asking for food and again you tell us ‘there is no food’, yet we see you throwing sausages around in the back having a good time. Now, that third time will not be so friendly. This time we are kicking the door down.” In essence, how can you look us in the eye and tell us the cupboard is bare when we both know that is a lie. Moreover:

Knowing the Iraq War has cost over $500 billion since its inception, how can you look us in the eye and say that:

• We are in a recession and there is nothing you can do about it- We are definitely in one, no doubt. But how in the hell did we get here? 100 billion a year? Money that could have been put back in to the economy for, I don’t know, more after school programs for at-risk youth or increased spending on welfare and clinical research programs. Or how about reinvesting some of that in the housing market so that I-banks wont have to lay off thousands of people (you know who you are company that rhymes with UPS)…that would have been nice…

• My generation and the ones preceding will not have Social Security- I repeat: 100 billion a year…

Knowing that the war on drugs, censorship on television and in movies, etc. is for “the sake of the children” and that the Iraq war has cost $500 billion since its inception, how can you look us in the eye and say that:

• We cannot afford universal healthcare for children-Everything we go through nowadays is for the kids. Oh so I have to have a damn 7 sec delay on all sporting events and congressional hearings on music and video games all to protect the babies, but you guys recently passed on a bill that could give health care to children in america. Uh-huh. When it comes to censorship of adults and everything else that is thrown in under the guise of “helping the children”, its cool, but when you have to put money up, its F the kids…Nice, real nice…

Knowing that Oil companies have made collectively over 120 billion in profits this year and that “The Fight for the substantial portion of the World’s Oil reserves” aka The Iraq war has cost $500 billion since its inception, how can you look us in the eye and say that:

• Gas prices cannot be at LEAST a dollar cheaper-Its not just at the pump man. Although that hurts like hell too. Its more than that. Increasing gas prices have affected damn near ever facet of our society. Consumer goods: That Gatorade is now 50 cents more expensive b/c it now costs more to get the damn bottle to the stores. Travel: airlines tickets are more expensive because the fuel’s more expensive. Everything that has to be shipped is now more expensive because of gas and you SOB’s are making 120 BILLION dollars in profit. Come the hell on now. What part of the game is that? You say prices are the way they are because of the volatility of the oil market and I feel you on that. Oil’s a bitch, constantly fluctuating. But, you SOB’s are making 120 billion dollars in profit. Seriously, gas cant be 2.50 and you guys get 115 billion? Cut us a break or “for Christ’s sake cut [us] check”…(Before you get all Bernake on me, I know that many oil companies have diverse holdings in other areas that could contribute to their overall bottom line. But, lets be feasible here. They are not called oil companies because they have substantial stake in the Jheri curl market.)

Knowing that there are people who go without food day after day, that there are people that have to live on the streets, that there are people that work 10 hrs a day and still cant support a family, that there are people arrested for taking drugs just to make the day slightly better, that billions are being spent to take a picture of a red rock on mars, you still spent 500 billion dollars on the Iraq war. Now, how in the fuck can you look us in our tired, poor, and huddled eyes with any kind of self-respect and tell us that:

• THERE IS NOT ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE.

Consider this your Second Knock.

Loquacious Levity 3-28-2008

I am sorry, but joking on lame duck presidents just never made sense to me. He doesn't give a crap since he can't be re-elected. Why should we?

Of course, this excludes vice-presidents. Their station is just too funny NOT to joke on...You are essentially a Personal Assistant to the president and a trophy wife to congress. However, it's nice pay for what you are being asked to do...Its kinda like being an NFL kicker. Not much athleticism(or in this case intelligence) needed. Not much effort needed for the pay you receive. BUT, and this is a rather large one, you may get called in, on very short notice, to perform presidential duties and expected to make the best of a terrible situation. Unlike kickers and their last second heroics/bungles, there's not much in the way of assassination-based appointments 'round here lately so not much to worry about Dicky C. Enjoy your last gasps though (i am pretty sure you have so far)...

Hey, isn't a term like douchebag kinda obsolete now? Douches don't have bags anymore or at least i don't think they do...With all the innovations in menstrual accessories, I'm sure a few advancements in douchery have occurred...Yeah, definitely...So, we are going with: He is such a douche-container with aromatic desiccates...nah lets try...He is such a douche pouch with Flumex draining technology...nah, just doesn't have that ba-zing. Obsolete or not "douchebag" just has the right ring to it...ah, well we try to innovate her at EE, but this one's a keeper.

The best part about March Madness so far: getting an appropriate outlet to say the name Longar Longar. I love this name. It just has an alliterative acuity to it, nah'mean...For instance, I get to say that Longar Longar is a center for the OOOOOOOOHKLAHOMA Sooners. Moreover, Longar Longar scored only 2 pts in the recent Sooner Drubbing at the hands of the Louisville Wildcats. Consequently, Longar Longar and his classmates will have to go back OOOOOOOHHHklahoma where the corn is about as high as Longar Longar's left eye...

It really is liberating to write whatever the hell you want when you want...you should try it...

Why is it that it seems all foreign names mean something else? Like Humbaba means blessed giver of epidural to Virgin Mary in Wompeter...Hey, you think you foreigners are so special with your fancy pants names? Everyone's name means something in some language somewhere. Americans are just not pretentious enough to go around telling everyone...Actually, we are pretentious enough to do it we just don’t have the time. For instance, Alvin means noble friend in dutch...Ra'shawd(my best friend's name and author of rising phoenix sports blog. Can you say shameless cross promotion, kids?) means receiver of superfluous apostrophes in Celtic...See we do have meanings...

Whoever it was that broke keisha(i know its spelled wrong but damn it i am taking a stand against weirdly spelled names) cole's heart really did a number on her...She is always singing about heartbreak. For Christ Sake's, she was even talking break-up/heartbreak on that club track with missy elliot. How you gonna talk that on a club track? Did you ever think keisha some of the blame has to be yours? Its quite obvious that you are dating jerks...Why don't you come on 'round to...ah, there i go again hitting on celebs...anyway, i hope it all works our for you, keesh.

How in the hell is it that chickens aren't extinct? We eat their bodies and to top it off, we eat their offspring. How in the hell are there still chickens left. I don't get this at all...

You notice 'round here lately that the number of people a "study" has to have to be legitimate is decreasing? For example, I saw some study about cancer. I don't remember too many specifics, but lets say for the sake of argument that it said "reacharounds" go a long way toward preventing colon cancer...Now, this study only sampled like 150 people? What kind of representative sample is that? On that note, notice that the length of study is also decreasing as well...No, more 1-2 year studies...Get about 50 ppl, take about a month, and boom you get "a snot rocket to the eye socket once a day cures glaucoma." This is probably why the side effects portion of drug TV advertisements is longer than the actual commercial. Not taking enough time to test and reconfigure...

Am I the only one that notices when you are goofing off at work that this is the time when the most people wanna walk past your desk?

Ok...Ok...Sections of the Population with the highest percentage composition of people who just don’t give a shit:

1. Reality Show contestants 99% of respective population- I cant really blame these guys. You mean someone will pay me 500K to watch me ruin my life with a lie detector test…I can lose all these pounds and possibly be famous for it…I get to live in an exotic place where I can walk around half naked and the natives have few sexual taboos…Shoot, why not? Hey, I won’t blame reality show guys fully. The opportunity to be famous is tempting indeed. But, honestly, I just cant put myself through that kind of scrutiny to be famous. Writing a blog that no one reads is as far as Ima take it…

2. DMV workers-92% of respective population. Word. Its like that, huh? Look me in my eye and just sit there? Really?... This is the only place Ive ever seen where people don’t care about looking like they are working or at least acting like they’re trying their best to serve you. You see dudes eating their lunch, talking on the phone, filing their nails all while a line the size of king kong’s intestinal tract is quietly snaking around the building and into the next area code…Come on now…

3 The Elderly-89% of respective population. Man, old people really don’t give a shit...well ill say if they don't know you...Grammies are always the nicest in the family, but don't let her get in that post office line...she will just walk past everyone...really, grammy? That’s what’s hot in the street? An old man will walk right through you. Oh and don't let them get behind the wheel of a car. I kinda feel em though. If I made it that far in life, I’d be like “f-em” too...

4. State Troopers-82% of respective population. This is actually good in the grand scheme of things. But, You get pulled over by a state trooper? Its a wrap. Some of them may let you go sometimes…maybe just maybe…if Jupiter is aligned just right with Mars, but most times you will run into the super trooper that don't give a shit about where you gotta go or who you gotta see. You better have a bleeding body in the back seat(not of own your doing, of course ) like Harvey Keitel in “Reservoir Dogs” or you are getting that ticket. Oh, in Virginia that percentage goes up to 100%. VA troopers don’t play…again it’s a good thing but still…

5. Niggas-80% of the respective population. I will quote Sam Jackson from “The Boondocks” on this one: “I don’t mean nigga in the racial sense. I mean it as a general description for ignorant mutha…” Yeah, niggas don’t give a shit…it would be 100% but I realize some cats do niggerish things out of circumstance…Like that guy who starts pushing you out side the bar…you COULD walk away, but this douche-container with aromatic desiccates(nah still don’t work) is sorely in need of a hearty AW…I feel you…so ima bump this down to 80%, but just know if you see a nigga of any race, just assume that mutha don’t give a shit and walk away. Don’t risk it…

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

A drop of paint...

As winter and spring start to blur
We dream of things that never were
Solstice to solstice we move each year
Has come millenia 'fore and when we're no longer here

It takes seasons changing their space
To put us humans in our proper place
We can no more stop the earth's rotation
than we can change our worldly station

For we are specks on a larger plane
mere wrinkles on a larger brain
This is NOT our world to mar and maim
Some legal birthright ours to claim

Rather its a divine gift
our home before Heaven's lift
We are mere tenets to a Master's lease
a drop of paint in God's masterpiece

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Appreciate!!!

Ummm...yeah about that...

Get this: the guy that replaced Eliot Spitzer or as i like to refer to him "a pimp named slickback" has had extra marital affairs...hahahaha classic. The guy that got replaced for wet willing has been replaced by another iceberg slim...hahaha, either the governor position really is cursed or:

men really are pieces of shit...maybe its a little of both. So, uh-ra disregard that last post...

Quick thought...

Just one quick thought and I'm going to get out of here, but OK:

I know what Eliot Spitzer did was against the law. I know he brought embarrassment to himself and his family. BUT, can we get off this kick of making the wife the saint? Its not even her fault. Its just that every time a man steps out on a woman, women get all "you betrayed my trust." OK that maybe true. But it was implicit in the marriage vows that you will take care of a man's "needs" Wasn't it? There is about a 7 to 1 ratio of women to men. If you don't, there are many that will...

Now, taking a marriage vow is sacred to me(with the divorce rate over 50% one would not think so...that's what adds so much comedy to this situation). You are making a promise to God, remember Him? So, I am not condoning infidelity. What I am condoning is for women to hold up their end of the bargain, too. You cant get married and stop having sex with your husband. What part of the game is that? I said in an earlier post that given humans are animals, why is it so hard to believe men are predisposed to spreading their seed? While there is no discernible mating season for humans, men have an inherent urge to spread or in this case bed as many women as possible. Monogamy is a human creation....

With that said, before everyone gets all self righteous on the morals front(you can be that way all you want on the legal side, the bastard did break the law), lets find out what is going on in that household...Case in point: now that you have met Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail and seen that even at her best she comes off as icy, can you really blame Bill for his indiscretions? Take a look at Silda Spitzer. Does she strike you as the romantic, sexual type?

You see its not that i don't think Eliot broke the law or even broke his promise to God. Its more than that. I get tired of this bullshit ass double standard. When a women steps out on a man, its "oh she must have needed more attention, he wasn't there for her. Good for her for finding love"...but when a man steps out, its "hes a dog he is despicable". No, the SOB just needed some "attention"... If you do all you can to make a man happy(sex, food, family, the works) and he still steps out, then the SOB IS a dog and despicable. Many times this is the case, i will admit...but if you don't take care of a man's needs, well then, this type of shit is gonna happen. I am sorry.

What i don't get is: why doesn't sex fall into a wife's duties? Society says that a wife is supposed to do a lot of things And most of all a wife bears a man's children, which takes two to make but carrying and bearing children is so dangerous. I would like to take this time to bestow my infinite thanks to women everywhere for that. But, sex HAS to be part of the deal, FOREVER. It just does...so before everyone jumps on the wife's bandwagon, lets just take a deeper look...

One more thing, umm, all these politicians need to be real careful with the vitriol here. Hey, there were a lot of politicians frequenting that Prostitution Ring...so uh-ra you might want to be Pro-Spitzer. You know, just in case

hmm...I wanted to come off pro-male but i think i just came off like a dick...but hey, not exactly new territory...

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Abstain!!!

Headlines...

Bill Clinton to Electorate: "See, don't you kinda feel where I was coming from now?"

Adam "Pac-Man" Jones to recruit Eliot Spitzer for posse

Effigists in foreign countries excited at the opportunity to burn an American president of color in effigy

Report confirms John McCain's 71 years of age said to be "Reagan-esque"; did not confirm Alzheimer's

Kevin Federline said to be father of Jamie-lynn Spears's baby

NYPD Calls off search for Knicks Team's heart; James Dolan's common sense

Joseph said to have been a bit skeptical at his wife's Virginity

God confesses that he has never done anything to affect the outcome of a sporting event however is flattered by the assumption...

Taco Bell is said to have no comment on its recent "Most Racist Franchise" Award

The guy who was shot by Dick Cheney admits he was kinda being a dick that day...

Chicken eats whole human; said it tasted like his brother...

Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama: "Yo' Momma"

February and April have an intervention for March; reports Madness affecting relationship...

Alleged clever blogger makes up ridiculous headlines; no one reads them...

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!

Desiderata...

Cherish your birth it gets worse
Maybe cursed from the get-go
Reap, Sow, Peep flow...

If you seek the american dream but can't sleep
everyday's a hustle making moves on the street
and you're struggling to make ends meet
aint even close enough to speak to one another,
Switch drummers, changes beats and...

Make your own groove
to stand alone you have to bury 'em all
so keep heat close to you, stand tall
What a man's supposed to do
and if all else fails, go postal
Keep your heart local but think global
Stack dough but stay negro
with nigga tendencies
Life symmetry ebb and flow
goes through all entities
Respect it it respects you.
Love your enemies
But keep close
Think before you raise toast
Death is Permanent
Roll the herbal and toke, yeah you learning it

Can't float through life
you gonna need a boat
and its gonna be trife sometimes but keep hope
give enough rope
They'll hang you
think of all ways to bang you
But stay true...To my black babies

Desiderata: this is stuff you gotta know
To make life a little better 'fore you go
Cop the tape, rewind it, and peep flow
I hope your mind grows...