"If the milk's sour, I ain't the kind of pussy to drink it"- Rory Breaker "Lock, Stock, and Two smoking barrels"
"Take your tongue out of my ass, old Gary"-Brick Top "Snatch"
"The devil planted fear inside the black babies..."-Ghostface
"Beef is not what Jay said to Nas. Beef is when the working folks cant find jobs. So they trying to find niggas to rob. Trying to find bigger guns so that can finish the job" -Mos Def
"Fuck your punk ass daddy"-Snoop Dogg "Baby Boy"
"Marvin, why didn't you tell us someone was in the bathroom with a goddamn hand cannon" Vinnie Vega "Pulp Fiction"
"Whatever the fuck ever, nigga"-Denzel in his "oscar worthy performance" in "Training Day"
"Seriously bitch you need to let me get on that piece of wood with you...take turns or something shit...its freezing out here. "-Leonardo DiCaprio "Titanic the real-life version"
"I belive that sushi will be good once i get past the fact that its raw. But, I cant get past the fact that its raw"- my mom
"Can you spare a dime for a sista"-Lindsay Lohan
"Let me just stick the tip in"-Every 16 yr old male since the beginning of time
"So you mean to tell me some prick named Mitt is beating me?"-Every republican presidential candidate in private moments
"Frankly, i dont think a woman can run the country. What with her bleeding for five days and not dying and all..."-Redneck hick in backwoods Lenoir County, NC
"Hook that mutha fucker straight"-Some cat giving me directions outside of a waffle house
"You better get this bitch 'fore i toss her ass out of that window.."-A drunk bruce eagle's retort to a corpulent young lady's attitude
"Disarm" Kurt Vonnegut "Deadeye Dick"
"Yo, these peanuts are making my turds chunky and it itches on the way out"-Bruce Eagle in his doctoral thesis "This has got to be Too Much Information"
"You can quote me on that" Everyone that i've quoted(yep, thats what they told me so no lawsuits!!!)
Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
"You can quote me on that!!!"
Pinky is very disappointed in you...
Adam Pac-Man Jones, supposedly named so because of your voracious appetite as a child, I beg you please for the sake of your career:
Just say NO to strip clubs...I like the ladies like the next man but your voracity for nude females is ruining you life. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. And, we are worried about you, Pac. Enroll yourself in a clinic/rehab. Boobies are going to destroy you. You are headed for a very bad place, Pac. You are talented, lucky for you, so you will get another chance, but stop making it so hard for yourself...
Get yourself some help a trenchcoat, some shades and a membership to a discreet adult shop. You can see all the b00bies you want at home. But please just stay at home...it aint worth it.
I hate to see you potentially throw away a good career b/c of stupidity. Talk to mikey see if he wouldnt change everything if he could...Im just saying. I wanna see you on tv for running back I-N-T's not for slapping T-I-T's...
Bruce Eagle the Interventioner. Peace!!!
Need a Lift?
I am not gonna lie to you. I get a real kick out of reading my blog...I just hope you get the same enjoyment...
But, seriously, The blogosphere is amazing. In this ever-changing world in which we live in(how often do you get to take a Paul McCartney quote and put it in a sentence? 10 dollars to the cat that can name the song) , we have so many avenues to get information, advice, porn, drugs, anything you want. There are blogs out there that just have pictures of people's cats and there are blogs dedicated to giving the public the info that it needs that the evening news is for some reason not doing anymore(gonna go ahead and tell you this aint one of 'em though). So yeah, you have to deal with the bull sometimes(pop-ups, etc) but there is a wealth of information out there and I love it. So if you happen upon this blog in your travels on the superhighway, thanks for stopping by and know that I really didnt mean for this post to come off so smug. Really, I am humble. I wouldn't go as far as humble, but not a prig. Yeah thats the best phrase...Just thought I'd let you know...
So keep thumbing it my friends and I hope you find the Grail you are looking for b/c its out there(did i give it to you? No? Well...yeah its out there). I hope you have as much fun searching as I do providing. Oh, the song was "live and let die". I mean, did you really expect me to give you a chance to get 10 dollars? Its the equivalent exchange, i know, but it aint that real..
Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Loquacious Levity 1-29-08
I just saw "No Country for Old Men" and stumbled onto one of my fav movie lines: "Whats the most you ever lost on a coin flip" The murderer in the movie asks this to a cashier while deciding whether or not to kill him...
What was so great about that scene was how the actors played it, subtle and nuanced. It was funny (if it were real, then of course it wouldnt be funny. What? Do you think I'm heartless) after the murderer asks the coin question, how the cashier's whole demeanor(previously congenial in that way only us southerners can be) changed. Classic, exactly how anyone wouldve acted if asked that question.
This movie is an open ended type of movie. The type where it isn't overwritten. You know, when the movie DOESNT have to spoonfeed you every detail you need to know. The Deer Hunter, Eastern Promises, The Departed and No Country are examples of movies where you have to read into the character's emotions. And, if you have great actors you dont have to spoonfeed the audience. We will be able to read into their emotions. Its refreshing to have to think sometimes...
But, other times it's not.
Jay-z says his "American Ganster" album was what he was feeling while thinking about the life of Frank Lucas. That's all fine and good. Its hot. We actually got a "Reasonable Doubt" album out of a man thats far removed from the "Reasonable Doubt" lifestyle. Now, when Nas did a sort of theme album in "It was written" after the classic "Illmatic" he was chastised for it...Im just saying
Say what you want about Dave Mays and Benzino. I miss the hell out of "The Source". I mean that was the hip-hop bible in like '96. For Christ Sakes, its called "The Source." If you walked into a classroom before class started(I guess i am dating myself abit) and saw a huddle of guys around desk and it wasn't an Eastbay Catalog(mail order sneaker catalog. I never understood that. Guys going gaga over shoes? I mean jordans are hot and all, but it aint that real) they were looking at, it was a Source. Man, where else could you go for all that is hip-hop. The Hip-hop Quotable, the Unsigned hype, the interviews back when they werent biased. It all added up to, for lack of the a better word or lack of want to use one, the shit. What pisses me off the most about the demise of the one of the most pervasive elements in my hip-hop rearing was how they went out, bitchy and petty. With the Benzino's "beefs" with Eminem and 50 and the petty, classless, uncreative shots he took at them in the mag, he comprised the integrity of the bible and for that, I will never forgive him. The Source is under new management now, but it just aint the same. The source in the new millenium is like Jordan out of his 2nd retirement. You still peep the source from time to time because it's the Source, but its sad to see what was become what is...
How close is Bill Clinton to using up all his goodwill with black folks...Its not that he is dowNing Barack hard or something, but its very subtle. Remember, this cat is a Rhodes Scholar so he will never come out of his face all wrong and inarticulate. But, it feels like he is close to saying the wrong thing. Hilary should just lock him in a bunker with a 6 month supply of fetish porn, lotions, nuts and grains, and his saxaphone because right now the black vote(notoriously non-existent, but when its there...its a bump) is split b/t Barack(the black man) and the Clinton family(honorary black folk). If hilary loses the black support its a wrap. In fact, it may already be a wrap. She has thousands of years of male gender bias(and female, but lets keep that on the low) to overcome. Its gonna be a hump...
But quite frankly Barack and Hilary should run together. What hil lacks in likability, Barack wholeheartedly makes up for in charisma. The only other politician I've seen in my lifetime with the sheer level of charisma was, coincidentally, Bill Clinton. The man oozed charm. What Barack lacks in Pennsylvania Ave experience, Hil makes up for. I am not talking about the Senate. I mean the White House. I know she wasnt in the oval office with Bill(hahaha the Starr Report made that quite obvious) but you have to pick up SOMETHING at least by osmosis by just being there for eight years.
Ok, guys how bout this: let's try this time to elect a candidate that you wholeheartedly feel can manage a nation. Let's keep faith based voting out of it this time around( and i am a christian myself but it doesnt belong in politics). I dont want to tell you how to vote, thats personal, but please gay people and fetuses(barely even bigger than you fingernail) dont have SHIT to do with the world climate(weather and terrorism, for instance). Lets elect an intelligent, articulate diplomat. When the hell did we stop shooting for the moon with the "most powerful man in the world"? We need a man or woman to mend fences with the entire FUCKING WORLD, we dont need some fuck-nuts or fuck-lips in the white house...I am not judging you, but still...
I am not gonna lie to you. If McCain gets the nomination (highly unlikely, but still), I might vote for him. I like this guy. I like his stand on sports(hahaha steroids matter more than gay marriage you wont convince me otherwise). I like his stand on government(very un-republican). And this man is full of not-give-a-fuckery. What can you do to a man that has been a fucking prisoner of war. You cant rattle him. Congress doesnt scare him. He will be able to make principled, informed decisions and not be swayed...or I may just vote for Nader. Fuck it.
Man, I really didnt think this LL post was gonna end with a McCain reference. There wasnt a lot of levity in this one, but hey thats what you get when you freestyle blog...
Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!
Friday, January 25, 2008
"We dont believe you. You need more people"-Jay-z
Roger Clemmons as a non-juicer...sorry, you need more people...
Hilary Clinton as the President...sorry, you need more people...(not hating but lets be feasible. Every year the democrats trot out minority candidates that have no shot in hell at being elected...If they f this election up...ima libertarian from now on...)
Barack Obama as the President...sorry, you need more people...(really now...i hate to be down on my people but really now...)
Chris Benoit as a murderer...sorry, you need more people...(ok, so all the evidence is to the contrary, but this was one of my fav wrestlers EVER...so nope im not gonna believe it!!!)
That oxy clean guy as the ron popeil of the new millenium... sorry, you need more people...
Jessica Alba as an actress...sorry, you need more people...
Matrix Reloaded as not one of the hottest movies ever...sorry, you need more people...(i mean everything came together in this one the action the dialogue, not unbearable...One was groundbreaking, granted, but had too much story and not enough ass-whooping. Three was alright; slightly anticlimactic fight scene with Smith and Neo, but the 2nd had it all...They built a entire highway set for the chase scene for Christ Sake...)
Denzel as an actor not stuck in the same 1 or 2 type roles for the last 10 years...sorry, you need more people...
Coke as being better than pepsi...sorry, you need more people...(seriously though yall niggas just hating on NC...sheesh, coke?...cane maybe but not cola)
The big mac as actually being delicious...sorry, you need more people...(how the hell does a sandwich that nasty survive so long...but a brother cant get a McRib though)
Chingy as a rapper...sorry, you need more people...
Any athelte as a rapper...sorry, you need more people...
Any rapper as a singer...sorry, you need more people...
OJ Simpson as an innocent man...F-IT ima stick with you, juice!!!!
Patriots as the best team ever...sorry, you need more people...
Mary-ju-wanna as any thing other than a giggle inducing appetite enhancer...sorry, you need more people...
Dogfighting as being worse than hunting...sorry, you need more people...
Lupe Fiasco as the next big thing...ok so you got me, but you get the point...
Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!
Loquacious Levity 1-25-08
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Slapstick...
A little more of what you can expect from this blog...I am a narcissitic, megalomanic, that can't spell, doesnt capitalize "I"and gives mostly opinions(hey, that way i am never wrong).
And each post may contain various topics or just one depending on my level of sobriety, how i feel that day, and my level of sleep the night before(i cant articulate without a lack of sleep). I am dichotomous(sp, see i told you). I may drop a word like circumlocutionary(lo ok it up!!!) and shizzle in the same paragraph. like this post i decided to list my top five rappers for debate...by time i finish i may drop a verse who knows, but here we go:
1. Nasir Bin Olu Dara Jones(yes i broke out the whole name)
2. Ghost(face that is)
3. Mos Def
4. Jay-z/Common( this slot tends to fluctuate depending on how these dudes decide to spit...the last Jay album was a bit slack but this new one is FIRE which puts him back at a solid "4", common is slipping since the "BE" album, but im sure he'll get back to 4 eventually. This list isnt set in stone dang it!!!)
5. MF Doom(he is just too clever not to be here...)
6th man is Cormega...he isnt nice enough for the top five but he is my guilty pleasure he just puts so much hubris and pathos in his songs you just have to feel him
7. Andre 3000-what can i say? the man is a beast. Wished he rapped more but ill take what i can get.
8. Eminem-oh my god this man was crazy lyrically. Check his earlier rhyme schemes and lyrics...crazy
9. Black Thought-this mans flow is ridiculous
10. Biggie(This is the only permanent spot on the list. The rest is pretty static. i cant put him higher b/c he, of course, cant make any new records(unless he hooks up with Pac's agent), but the ones he has are timeless so he rounds out the list. Long Kiss goodnight, whew, "ya burn when you creep me/rest where the worms and the weak be..."
Honorable mention:
Vinnie Paz from Jedi Mind Tricks(can't really explain this one. He just gets it in! "its a passionate thing the way we make classics/genuine brilliance or inate madness"
Kno from Cunninglynguists(careful how you say this you may be lascivious if you pronounce it wrong. "Prisoner of love I give her my cell number...")
Prodigy from Mobb Deep(probably the most voice sampled rapper. The man's quotes are crazy) Kweli(cant make a consistent album but I like his heart)..
umm..thats about it...
What do you think? Sorry no old school while i respect the contributions, I dont like the rhyme schemes(outside of Rakim, Kane, and Kool G, of course), call me a youngin if you want...
BruceEagle the full metal. Peace!!!!
