"When will Jesus bring the porkchops...?"-George Carlin

Since he's jewish, probably never...That's just an example of the way George Carlin made us look our foibles and hypocricies. He played with the language. He showed us that when you do something for the sake of apperances (like saying "how are you" but not sticking around for the answer) it will always come off hollow and pedantic. Since he would probably balk at the concept of eulogies, i'll keep this short:

You will be truly missed and thanks for the laughs...Have a good one :)

Gonna party like....

Cliched phrase aside, Yep today's my b-day. I have made it another spin around our yellow ball of gas... and since I really didn't have anything to do with it,

ahem...

I'll let my man Nas speak on it instead...

"I woke up early on my born day I'm [26] its a blessing. The essence of adolescent leaves my body now freshen. My physical form is celebrated cus I made it one quarter through life as something that God created..."

Amen. Here's hoping I live to a Hundred....

Bruce Eagle the Birthday Boy. Yea!!!

This one's for the Commish...

In the last post, I used my friend Scoe, commissioner of Phoenix Rising Wrestling, as a contrast to my reverse jinx of Obama's bid for presidency. Turns out I didn't get it right. So with all due respect to the commissioner, here's his rebuttal. Wow, my first official retraction. I feel like such a journalist.


Commissioner of RPW said...
I dont have a conspiracy theory. That's not what I was saying at all. You ever heard the term "lame duck." This is usually used to describe people in power who have very little power in reality. Without a substantial amount of backing from his fellow politicians, Mr. Obama will be a lame duck president. If that were to occur, which is not outside the realm of possibility, what would happen to the legions of Blacks and other minorities who have got it in their minds that we are on the verge of a "second coming." People are believing that this is the time for the meek to inherit the earth. However, if the shephard is corraled like his flock, who can he save?


BruceEagle the the full metal. Peace!!!

Obama: Mama We made it...

Well, not quite. We still have to get the brother elected. But, congrats on the nomination nonetheless(i must admit when i saw him and McCain sitting at that table on CNN...i got a little hype)

Now, me and my friend Scoe seem to be pessimistic about this nomination in two different directions. He feels wary that "they", his "they" are the clandestine organization that is quietly running our lives(yeah, that "they"), will allow Obama to get into office, but "they" will take every precaution to make his administration a failure and laughingstock. Scoe feels that this will push an already disenfranchised people over the edge thereby quelling any further worry from the black voting bloc as well as any aspirations any further black men/women have of running for office. While this could happen, I just don't see it that way. Why would "they" let us win? Its just as easy to make us lose and prove the same point and you wouldn't have that pesky black president to deal with. Besides, if we can come back to the voting booth after Florida and Ohio, then it stands to reason we are bit more resilient as far as electoral spirituality to have that happen to us. His theory sounds a bit too conspiracy theory for me, but as the movie taught us, just because you are paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you.

I am pessimistic as well. However, I don't think the brother will even get elected. Not to be outdone by my surrogate brother, I have a "they" driving my theory too. My "they" is an amalgamation of stand alone complexes(i.e. individuals) bound only by their irrational hatred of all brown people(blacks, mexicans, muslims, sugar bear, etc) that will unwittingly bring them together. I envision an increased amount of felonious charges brought against minorities(remember felons can't vote), confusing ballots in areas with a high percentage of elderly people, and the rezoning of districts to invalidate voter registrations(in essence gerrymandering...illegal but not impossible). I repeat, I just don't see it. However, for now I rejoice because:

"They", whatever definition you have of "them", cannot lie to us anymore. They cannot tell little kids that they have to be ballers or entertainers to make a difference or make something of themselves. Now black parents can point to Obama and tell their children that they CAN make a difference. "See, look at Obama. He looks like you. If he can do it, you can do it, too." It has been so long since we have had a black person in the spotlight(not rap or sports either, not that there's anything wrong with that, its just that everyone can't do it) that black kids, inner city or otherwise, could aspire to be. Sure, there are those in the community to look up to(I see you even if no one else does), but you and I know that those on the tele hold a lot more weight...So, while I am a bit pessimistic, I still rejoice and I will continue to do so until...well...you know my vision comes to fruition...

So congrats again, Obama. I am pulling for you. And, lets hope Scoe and I are both wrong...

Bruce Eagle the Reverse Jinxer. Wink!!!

Loquacious Levity-5/22/2008

I love Sci-fi almost as I love music and copious amounts of peanut M&M’s. And just to day, “not a minute b/f you blew a hole in the door” (sorry couldn’t resist the Kill Bill quote), I just came to the realization (you may have long done so) that time travel is impossible. *Sigh*. It came on the epiphany that time is not tangible. Time is just a word we invented to measure the length of periods of somethingness (yep, I wrote it.) book-ended by periods of nothingness. You can’t touch it. It is, in essence, abstact. How can you travel to something abstract?

Been to the theory of relativity lately? To time travel, in the Sci-fi sense meaning physically transporting yourself to a particular moment in time(of course, you are free to do it Billy Pilgrim style, in your mind, all you like), that would mean that “time” would have to leave some kind of tangible snail trail for one to pinpoint. It would mean that the past never ends; forever pasted on to some abstract celluloid sheet. Where is the last 20 “seconds” of your life you used to read the preceding lines? Can you find it? How can you get back to it. You cant. Not to mention the pesky “transport and dissolution of large quantities of matter” issue. It’s just not going to happen. I think I am more telling myself than telling you. Again, sigh…

Wanna know where I would go if I could go back in time? Two places: I would travel back to about an hour before my birth and strike up a conversation with my pops while in Lenoir Memorial Hospital waiting room (btw, a bunch of bums. I am the only thing they got right, if that is any testament to their ineptitude). See where his head was. See what hopes and dreams he had for his then in-utero son. See if the dreams reconciled with the post-utero verision. And, I would also go to the delivery room and see myself being born. That would be trippy right?

Aren’t we just a little embarrassed by all these erectile dysfunction commercials? I mean, if it means I gotta wait around for some pill to kick in so that I could have relations with my old lady, maybe making it past 45 aint so hot?

You know I was just kidding about that, God? Right…? Right?

Foreshadowing: ROSS!!!!

Have you ever spoken with someone that grew up in like the 40-50’s and just felt like a little candy-arse? They had a world war fresh off a prior one, got by on slim rations back home on everything from stamps to food to garden hoses, they endured a national tragedy but actually held their patriotic fervor longer than 2 years. I freak out if I am stuck on a train without my Ipod. My generation is so soft(in the presence of the greatest generation, yeah you too)…On that note…

It’s a paradox that with all the increase in quality of life technology has given us, it will most likely be the end of us. I am pretty sure cell phones cause cancer and even if they don’t, scientists say that the cell phone wireless waves are screwing with the bees. They can’t stand it. Think about it. Seen a bee lately? I don’t think we are going to create artificial intelligence that could overrun the human race a la T2 or Matrix (I don’t think we are smart enough to create something smarter than us or at least too narcissistic). No, that won’t be the end. If its not the extinction of bees thereby bringing an end to flowers subsequently killing our dwindling food supply, consequently ending us, it’ll probably be the fact that we are losing our intelligence as a species, dumbed down by all the niceties.

Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest comes into play here. As far a physique, humans are damn near at the bottom of the totem pole. We are not even in the top 25 or most ferocious animals (at least in the physical sense) Our bodies are relatively frail, but what keeps us at the top of the food chain is our huge brain. Our intelligence to outsmart that bear or that alligator or that phython. What happens if we lose our only competitive advantage over the lion eat dog eat mouse world of nature? It’s a wrap. Well, technology is gonna get us there…At least we could pick on the mouse…

Or the end could just be fire like the Bible says. If you believe in that sort of thing…

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

God, you know I just be saying that to get you mad…

Seriously, though. If you count gunfire as fire, then well, it may not be too far off. Bigger, better weapons. Technology: aint it grand.

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal." – the soon to be former chief executive explaining why he has given up golf until the Iraq war is over(big up Jim Caple, ESPN for the quote.)

Yep. You read that one right…kinda got that one backwards don’t ya, slick? Play golf and leave Iraq! Fuck’s wrong with you?! Moreover, Playing golf on a posh course while many in your country starve is kind of an affront as well don’t you think? The balls on this one could choke an elephant. Jeeee-zus!

Congrats, david cook for winning American Idol beating out David Archuleta (aka trout mouth.) Now, arch can sing his butt off and frankly should have won on the basis of pure singing, but hey…the kid is actually a kid at 17. The little bugger is still a minor. You can’t have an American Idol who still has his provisional driver’s license. Can you? Guess not. Congrats again, Cook. I bet Chris Daughtry is flattered.

I just found out that my Mans “Michael” from “The Wire” is going to be on 90210(good looks to one Mr. Bill Simmons for that tidbit, ok so I went to ESPN.com today!)…Damn Mike…I thought having your stepdad killed was bad…

Hey, my friend scoe, writer, editor and senior wrestling analyst for Phoenix rising wrestling blog, coined a new term for a certain type of rap. Its called Swag Rap. Its when the rapper aint really saying nothing hot but the way he presents him/herself just carries the song. Like Jeezy, I don’t think the man has ever made a clever simile, but he’s just hot for some reason. It’s the swag talking. It’s really a talent to implant your hubris onto a track to make it tangible. On that note…
Ok, Ok: Top five swag rappers (this is no way supercedes the top five MC’s listed in the second post. Nooooo. No way in hell)

5. Rick Ross-I just don’t know how to classify this man as anything other than swag rapper. That new cut he has with T. Pain is hot but I just don’t know why (can say that about a lot of T. Pain tracks.)

4. Fabolous-He staddles the line of punchline/swag rapper. If fab never made any albums but kept his mixtape game up, he would undoubtedly make my top ten rappers( or at least garner an honorable mention). He is a monster on mixtapes(that triangle offense with him, cain and buddens way back: da shite!!!) but since he cant really make a consistent album but always finds a way to make some bangers, he makes this list. That and the fact he caused a whole generation of hip-hop heads to spell fabulous wrong for the rest of their lives…

3. Jeezy- he was the reason for this whole countdown. So yeah.

2. Ludacris-I don’t think he has ever made a song I liked as far as lyrical content (now features on the other hand are monstrous and runaway love was poignant, kinda), but this man has just got hits, his bravado is palpable on every track. It can’t be any reason other than he is one of the illest swag rappers out there…and finally…

1. Slick Rick and Big Daddy Kane-Now, rick and kane are beasts don’t get me wrong. Rick is one of the best hip-hop griots ever (btw, the spell check in Word doesn’t recognize Griot. Its spelling suggestion? Grits! Artificial intelligence, my arse!) and Kane revolutionized rap flow and cadence, but when you talk swag rap, the essence of just getting on the mic and talking that smiggidy, these two gentlemen invented and perfected it. On many a rappers best day, they are just doing an impersonation of Kane on his worst. Many rappers telling a story are just doing a Children’s Story remix. Gotta give it up. This will probably be the number one spot indefinitely. That is until Jay-Z’s kid is born…

I think I am going to be the first swag blogger…given there is no real content on this site, yet its rather hot...on that note(last one, I promise):

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!(told ya)

Versus: Not giving a S**t vs. Not giving a F**K

Oh, btw going to tone down the cursing a bit. My moms got a load of the site and said it was "raunchy." Given Ima mama's boy through and through, gotta keep it to a min. for momma that is until I feel like dropping an F-BOMB...but for now its cool...

Now, we try to keep your word game up here at EE so let's start this "versus" series off right with differentiating between not giving a s**t and not giving a f**K. I hear people use both of these terms interchangeably. This is a fallacy, my friends. Both of these term connote a certain level of disinterest in a certain situation, topic, etc., but not giving a f**k is much more severe than not giving a s**t. For instance:

-If you see a guy throw his cup out of his car window when he is finished with his coffee...that's not giving a s**t
-If you see that same guy take a dump out of his car window when his coffee is finished with him...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you see a dude on the street curse out a some sassy-lipped kid...that's not giving a s**t
-If you see that same dude slap the fire out of that kid...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you wear a dirty shirt...that's not giving a s**t
-If you wear dirty underwear...well then that's not giving a f**k(seriously, i know cats who would put on dirty underwear...dude your arse stinks...what you think it smells like roses everyday? Either wash your damn draws...or free-ball...geesh!)

-If you hear about your boy screwing the ugliest, sluttiest chick in town...that's not giving a s**t
-If you hear about your boy screwing the ugliest, sluttiest chick in town with no rubber...well, then that's not giving a f**k(literally it is, but you know...)

-If you are drunk and you step to some scrawny dude at the bar...that's not giving a s**t
-If you are drunk and you step to the bouncer with out actually being one yourself...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you take a two-hour lunch break...that's not giving a s**t
-If you just don't come back after lunch...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If your little sister listens in or your phone call after you tell her not to...that's not giving a s**t
-If your presidential administration listens in on your phone call without asking you...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you are a mediocre player who risked using steroids just to make it to the big leagues...that's not giving a s**t

-If you are a superstar player who risked using steroids to prolong an already HOF career, sold out a good friend, sued said friend, had trysts with under aged girls and STILL lied to a federal grand jury...well then Mr. Clemens its quite obvious you don't give a f**k

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

You can quote me on that...Life imitates Art Edition

Art often imitates life because what better muse is there than the pain and prosper that is life itself? What is disheartening and inspiring is that authors from about 25 years ago up to hundreds of years past still prophetically speak to the ills and joys of life as it relates to today. Does this represent past authors pinpointing some fundamental predisposition inherent in all humans, those to come and those present? Maybe. Does it mean that no matter what has happened, how many items have been destroyed, how much carnage is amassed that humans are forever fated to continually make the same mistakes? Probably. But, when we finally destroy ourselves(i hope I'm looking down, not looking on) I truly hope that the quotes and contexts shown below, as well as many other nuggets of wisdom from authors past, survive as our epitaph so when that amoeba decides to evolve and start this whole process over again, man will look back at the legacy from today and heed our inadvertent warning. But, alas probably not...

"Woe to the inhabitants on Earth! that now, While time was, our first parents had been warned"
-John Milton "Paradise Lost"-1667( the gas crunch, the cries for moral legislation, the rampant drug use. Hey, just because you call yours Prozac and a junkie calls his LSD doesn't make you two any different. Remind you of the seventies? We just love to repeat history, don't we? On that note...)

"We were a demonstration of abnormal psychology...That was when we should have packed up our things and gotten out of there...We were worst than dishonest. We were ridiculous...'Dad, I think we better get out of here. We made a mistake'...He said, 'we certainly weren't going to go home with out tails between our legs.’ Vietnam!"
-Kurt Vonnegut "Hocus Pocus"-1990(OK, so this isn't exactly "25 years ago up to hundreds of years past" but I thought it was a perfect example of history repeating itself. This was written before the first Gulf war and the New Millennium Equivalent to Vietnam and was probably meant to warn against the mindset that led to and perpetuated the Vietnam war. However, like the loading dock scene in the movie “The Mist”, no one listens to the Artist.)

"Big Brother is watching you"

-George Orwell "1984"-1948(Given that Orwell wrote 1984 about Stalinism and its namesake's treatment of Russian Socialists, I am not going to be so hard on the soon-to-be-former-chief executive who shall remain nameless's administration. Call him dumb, call him redneck, call him anything but the SOB is better than Stalin. I know that's like saying I would rather be stabbed in the arm than shot in the stomach, but hey. Even though Orwell's novel is hyperbolic not prophetic(God I really hope that's true), there is a correlation between the Gov't's habit of listening to our phone calls, peeping what books we check out of the library, scanning emails for buzzwords and "Big Brother's" creation of telescreens and its other methods of monitoring the people of Oceania...

Even though Orwell's novel is hyperbolic and hopefully not prophetic, there is a correlation between the Gov't's habit of making words and phrases taboo and Big Brother's act of changing or deleting words from the lexicon. Like liberal. How in the hell can you make the word liberal out to be bad. A word that means generous, a connotation that means caring...That is some slick shit, I tell you. Comparing this administration to "Big Brother" may be a bit overzealous and cheapens "1984" a little bit, but you gotta admit there are some similarities...)

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury; signifying nothing"

-William Shakespeare "Macbeth"1603-(I know I touched on this in the last LL post but I had to put this one up here. It was the impetus for this whole post. What in the hell is going on at the airport. Let's not even talk about the Chapter 11's in the airline industry or how its quite apparent that the major airlines could give a good shit about our comfort, but let's talk about the "security". Why do I have to take off my got damn shoes? I know i have a foot odor problem but it still doesn't make any sense. Don't we have metal detectors? Why can't I walk through with my damn shoes on? I used to blame that ugly arse shoe bomber but its been like 3 yrs. since that incident and no change in the shoe shit. OK, that was just venting...

I assume all of this is because of 9/11. Its crazy that the cause of all this was a bunch of pissed off, ball-heavy terrorists. They didn't sneak a bomb on the damn plane. They Hijacked it with box cutters. All the signs were there, people. They went to flight school but didn't care about learning to land...For Christ's Sake, half of them didn't even have sufficient paper work to be Americans. They didn't give a shit. They knew how lazy we were and that we would pass right over them. I say that to say that if we really had our shit tight, they would have been deported before 9/11 because they didn't have the right documentation. We didn't check. We didn't ask. The funny thing is that the immigration debate never brings this up(that's how i know its more about taxation than security). The airline security doesn't get paid enough to check 110% all the time, barely even enough for 85%. They don't give shit either. What the hell does showing my ID 4 fucking times have to do with airline security? I guess a terrorist can't get a fake ID, huh...

It is merely a deterrent not security. There's a difference. It wouldn't get me so incensed if this were highway speeding or shoplifting we were trying to deter, but this is national fucking security here, man. Can't we get some profile specialists, some body language analysts, some highly trained guys/gals with AK'S waiting for shit to pop off? Now, THAT'S security. What we have now’s not security just an inconvenience. Sound and fury; signifying nothing. IRAQ!)

"...That is [the] premise This story will draw a conclusion from it and show at the same time that the premise is incorrect. That will be a new thing in logic."
-O. Henry "A Service of Love"-1912(A nice one for the whole "War for Oil" sentiment some seem to have. This premise tells us that if we go to War in Iraq, recipient, by genetic and logistic fortuity, of 1/5 of the world's oil reserve, we will ease the price of gas, oil's derivative. Now, that is our premise: acquisition of commodity by force. The conclusion: No one will win this war. It is evil and strains resources that could be put to better use. Using myriad vital resources to acquire one. Uh-huh. However, you and I know gas prices are 4 bones per gallon now( I like the correlation with “4 bones” and a fossil fuel). I started driving almost ten years ago between the first Gulf conflict and the present one. Gas was 99 cents. But, this war's going to keep gas affordable. Uh-huh. Guess that's that "new thing in logic")

"One ever feels his twoness-an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder. "

-W.E.B DuBois "The Souls of Black Folk"-1903(We had to read this for summer reading at NCAT's(AGGIE PRIDE!!!) Honors Program. What pissed me off the most about that book was the book's a HUNDRED YEARS OLD and the same nonsense is still going on. If you ever had the glorious pleasure or genetic misadventure of being black in America, YOU know exactly what Mr. DuBois is talking about. Dead On!)

"O wonder!

How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is!

O brave new world

That has such people in’t!"

-William Shakespeare "The Tempest"-1623 (this pretty much sums up the love and caring we humans are capable of when we want to try. Take Katrina for example. There were people where I lived -Stamford, CT-that were taking time off work to drive supplies down to N.O. Not to mention how this describes our firefighters, policemen, teachers, soldiers, and etc. sacrificing everyday to make life a little better for all. Indeed, how beauteous mankind is...or can be)

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!