Loquacious Levity-5/22/2008

I love Sci-fi almost as I love music and copious amounts of peanut M&M’s. And just to day, “not a minute b/f you blew a hole in the door” (sorry couldn’t resist the Kill Bill quote), I just came to the realization (you may have long done so) that time travel is impossible. *Sigh*. It came on the epiphany that time is not tangible. Time is just a word we invented to measure the length of periods of somethingness (yep, I wrote it.) book-ended by periods of nothingness. You can’t touch it. It is, in essence, abstact. How can you travel to something abstract?

Been to the theory of relativity lately? To time travel, in the Sci-fi sense meaning physically transporting yourself to a particular moment in time(of course, you are free to do it Billy Pilgrim style, in your mind, all you like), that would mean that “time” would have to leave some kind of tangible snail trail for one to pinpoint. It would mean that the past never ends; forever pasted on to some abstract celluloid sheet. Where is the last 20 “seconds” of your life you used to read the preceding lines? Can you find it? How can you get back to it. You cant. Not to mention the pesky “transport and dissolution of large quantities of matter” issue. It’s just not going to happen. I think I am more telling myself than telling you. Again, sigh…

Wanna know where I would go if I could go back in time? Two places: I would travel back to about an hour before my birth and strike up a conversation with my pops while in Lenoir Memorial Hospital waiting room (btw, a bunch of bums. I am the only thing they got right, if that is any testament to their ineptitude). See where his head was. See what hopes and dreams he had for his then in-utero son. See if the dreams reconciled with the post-utero verision. And, I would also go to the delivery room and see myself being born. That would be trippy right?

Aren’t we just a little embarrassed by all these erectile dysfunction commercials? I mean, if it means I gotta wait around for some pill to kick in so that I could have relations with my old lady, maybe making it past 45 aint so hot?

You know I was just kidding about that, God? Right…? Right?

Foreshadowing: ROSS!!!!

Have you ever spoken with someone that grew up in like the 40-50’s and just felt like a little candy-arse? They had a world war fresh off a prior one, got by on slim rations back home on everything from stamps to food to garden hoses, they endured a national tragedy but actually held their patriotic fervor longer than 2 years. I freak out if I am stuck on a train without my Ipod. My generation is so soft(in the presence of the greatest generation, yeah you too)…On that note…

It’s a paradox that with all the increase in quality of life technology has given us, it will most likely be the end of us. I am pretty sure cell phones cause cancer and even if they don’t, scientists say that the cell phone wireless waves are screwing with the bees. They can’t stand it. Think about it. Seen a bee lately? I don’t think we are going to create artificial intelligence that could overrun the human race a la T2 or Matrix (I don’t think we are smart enough to create something smarter than us or at least too narcissistic). No, that won’t be the end. If its not the extinction of bees thereby bringing an end to flowers subsequently killing our dwindling food supply, consequently ending us, it’ll probably be the fact that we are losing our intelligence as a species, dumbed down by all the niceties.

Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest comes into play here. As far a physique, humans are damn near at the bottom of the totem pole. We are not even in the top 25 or most ferocious animals (at least in the physical sense) Our bodies are relatively frail, but what keeps us at the top of the food chain is our huge brain. Our intelligence to outsmart that bear or that alligator or that phython. What happens if we lose our only competitive advantage over the lion eat dog eat mouse world of nature? It’s a wrap. Well, technology is gonna get us there…At least we could pick on the mouse…

Or the end could just be fire like the Bible says. If you believe in that sort of thing…

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

God, you know I just be saying that to get you mad…

Seriously, though. If you count gunfire as fire, then well, it may not be too far off. Bigger, better weapons. Technology: aint it grand.

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal." – the soon to be former chief executive explaining why he has given up golf until the Iraq war is over(big up Jim Caple, ESPN for the quote.)

Yep. You read that one right…kinda got that one backwards don’t ya, slick? Play golf and leave Iraq! Fuck’s wrong with you?! Moreover, Playing golf on a posh course while many in your country starve is kind of an affront as well don’t you think? The balls on this one could choke an elephant. Jeeee-zus!

Congrats, david cook for winning American Idol beating out David Archuleta (aka trout mouth.) Now, arch can sing his butt off and frankly should have won on the basis of pure singing, but hey…the kid is actually a kid at 17. The little bugger is still a minor. You can’t have an American Idol who still has his provisional driver’s license. Can you? Guess not. Congrats again, Cook. I bet Chris Daughtry is flattered.

I just found out that my Mans “Michael” from “The Wire” is going to be on 90210(good looks to one Mr. Bill Simmons for that tidbit, ok so I went to ESPN.com today!)…Damn Mike…I thought having your stepdad killed was bad…

Hey, my friend scoe, writer, editor and senior wrestling analyst for Phoenix rising wrestling blog, coined a new term for a certain type of rap. Its called Swag Rap. Its when the rapper aint really saying nothing hot but the way he presents him/herself just carries the song. Like Jeezy, I don’t think the man has ever made a clever simile, but he’s just hot for some reason. It’s the swag talking. It’s really a talent to implant your hubris onto a track to make it tangible. On that note…
Ok, Ok: Top five swag rappers (this is no way supercedes the top five MC’s listed in the second post. Nooooo. No way in hell)

5. Rick Ross-I just don’t know how to classify this man as anything other than swag rapper. That new cut he has with T. Pain is hot but I just don’t know why (can say that about a lot of T. Pain tracks.)

4. Fabolous-He staddles the line of punchline/swag rapper. If fab never made any albums but kept his mixtape game up, he would undoubtedly make my top ten rappers( or at least garner an honorable mention). He is a monster on mixtapes(that triangle offense with him, cain and buddens way back: da shite!!!) but since he cant really make a consistent album but always finds a way to make some bangers, he makes this list. That and the fact he caused a whole generation of hip-hop heads to spell fabulous wrong for the rest of their lives…

3. Jeezy- he was the reason for this whole countdown. So yeah.

2. Ludacris-I don’t think he has ever made a song I liked as far as lyrical content (now features on the other hand are monstrous and runaway love was poignant, kinda), but this man has just got hits, his bravado is palpable on every track. It can’t be any reason other than he is one of the illest swag rappers out there…and finally…

1. Slick Rick and Big Daddy Kane-Now, rick and kane are beasts don’t get me wrong. Rick is one of the best hip-hop griots ever (btw, the spell check in Word doesn’t recognize Griot. Its spelling suggestion? Grits! Artificial intelligence, my arse!) and Kane revolutionized rap flow and cadence, but when you talk swag rap, the essence of just getting on the mic and talking that smiggidy, these two gentlemen invented and perfected it. On many a rappers best day, they are just doing an impersonation of Kane on his worst. Many rappers telling a story are just doing a Children’s Story remix. Gotta give it up. This will probably be the number one spot indefinitely. That is until Jay-Z’s kid is born…

I think I am going to be the first swag blogger…given there is no real content on this site, yet its rather hot...on that note(last one, I promise):

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!(told ya)

Versus: Not giving a S**t vs. Not giving a F**K

Oh, btw going to tone down the cursing a bit. My moms got a load of the site and said it was "raunchy." Given Ima mama's boy through and through, gotta keep it to a min. for momma that is until I feel like dropping an F-BOMB...but for now its cool...

Now, we try to keep your word game up here at EE so let's start this "versus" series off right with differentiating between not giving a s**t and not giving a f**K. I hear people use both of these terms interchangeably. This is a fallacy, my friends. Both of these term connote a certain level of disinterest in a certain situation, topic, etc., but not giving a f**k is much more severe than not giving a s**t. For instance:

-If you see a guy throw his cup out of his car window when he is finished with his coffee...that's not giving a s**t
-If you see that same guy take a dump out of his car window when his coffee is finished with him...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you see a dude on the street curse out a some sassy-lipped kid...that's not giving a s**t
-If you see that same dude slap the fire out of that kid...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you wear a dirty shirt...that's not giving a s**t
-If you wear dirty underwear...well then that's not giving a f**k(seriously, i know cats who would put on dirty underwear...dude your arse stinks...what you think it smells like roses everyday? Either wash your damn draws...or free-ball...geesh!)

-If you hear about your boy screwing the ugliest, sluttiest chick in town...that's not giving a s**t
-If you hear about your boy screwing the ugliest, sluttiest chick in town with no rubber...well, then that's not giving a f**k(literally it is, but you know...)

-If you are drunk and you step to some scrawny dude at the bar...that's not giving a s**t
-If you are drunk and you step to the bouncer with out actually being one yourself...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you take a two-hour lunch break...that's not giving a s**t
-If you just don't come back after lunch...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If your little sister listens in or your phone call after you tell her not to...that's not giving a s**t
-If your presidential administration listens in on your phone call without asking you...well then that's not giving a f**k

-If you are a mediocre player who risked using steroids just to make it to the big leagues...that's not giving a s**t

-If you are a superstar player who risked using steroids to prolong an already HOF career, sold out a good friend, sued said friend, had trysts with under aged girls and STILL lied to a federal grand jury...well then Mr. Clemens its quite obvious you don't give a f**k

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

You can quote me on that...Life imitates Art Edition

Art often imitates life because what better muse is there than the pain and prosper that is life itself? What is disheartening and inspiring is that authors from about 25 years ago up to hundreds of years past still prophetically speak to the ills and joys of life as it relates to today. Does this represent past authors pinpointing some fundamental predisposition inherent in all humans, those to come and those present? Maybe. Does it mean that no matter what has happened, how many items have been destroyed, how much carnage is amassed that humans are forever fated to continually make the same mistakes? Probably. But, when we finally destroy ourselves(i hope I'm looking down, not looking on) I truly hope that the quotes and contexts shown below, as well as many other nuggets of wisdom from authors past, survive as our epitaph so when that amoeba decides to evolve and start this whole process over again, man will look back at the legacy from today and heed our inadvertent warning. But, alas probably not...

"Woe to the inhabitants on Earth! that now, While time was, our first parents had been warned"
-John Milton "Paradise Lost"-1667( the gas crunch, the cries for moral legislation, the rampant drug use. Hey, just because you call yours Prozac and a junkie calls his LSD doesn't make you two any different. Remind you of the seventies? We just love to repeat history, don't we? On that note...)

"We were a demonstration of abnormal psychology...That was when we should have packed up our things and gotten out of there...We were worst than dishonest. We were ridiculous...'Dad, I think we better get out of here. We made a mistake'...He said, 'we certainly weren't going to go home with out tails between our legs.’ Vietnam!"
-Kurt Vonnegut "Hocus Pocus"-1990(OK, so this isn't exactly "25 years ago up to hundreds of years past" but I thought it was a perfect example of history repeating itself. This was written before the first Gulf war and the New Millennium Equivalent to Vietnam and was probably meant to warn against the mindset that led to and perpetuated the Vietnam war. However, like the loading dock scene in the movie “The Mist”, no one listens to the Artist.)

"Big Brother is watching you"

-George Orwell "1984"-1948(Given that Orwell wrote 1984 about Stalinism and its namesake's treatment of Russian Socialists, I am not going to be so hard on the soon-to-be-former-chief executive who shall remain nameless's administration. Call him dumb, call him redneck, call him anything but the SOB is better than Stalin. I know that's like saying I would rather be stabbed in the arm than shot in the stomach, but hey. Even though Orwell's novel is hyperbolic not prophetic(God I really hope that's true), there is a correlation between the Gov't's habit of listening to our phone calls, peeping what books we check out of the library, scanning emails for buzzwords and "Big Brother's" creation of telescreens and its other methods of monitoring the people of Oceania...

Even though Orwell's novel is hyperbolic and hopefully not prophetic, there is a correlation between the Gov't's habit of making words and phrases taboo and Big Brother's act of changing or deleting words from the lexicon. Like liberal. How in the hell can you make the word liberal out to be bad. A word that means generous, a connotation that means caring...That is some slick shit, I tell you. Comparing this administration to "Big Brother" may be a bit overzealous and cheapens "1984" a little bit, but you gotta admit there are some similarities...)

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury; signifying nothing"

-William Shakespeare "Macbeth"1603-(I know I touched on this in the last LL post but I had to put this one up here. It was the impetus for this whole post. What in the hell is going on at the airport. Let's not even talk about the Chapter 11's in the airline industry or how its quite apparent that the major airlines could give a good shit about our comfort, but let's talk about the "security". Why do I have to take off my got damn shoes? I know i have a foot odor problem but it still doesn't make any sense. Don't we have metal detectors? Why can't I walk through with my damn shoes on? I used to blame that ugly arse shoe bomber but its been like 3 yrs. since that incident and no change in the shoe shit. OK, that was just venting...

I assume all of this is because of 9/11. Its crazy that the cause of all this was a bunch of pissed off, ball-heavy terrorists. They didn't sneak a bomb on the damn plane. They Hijacked it with box cutters. All the signs were there, people. They went to flight school but didn't care about learning to land...For Christ's Sake, half of them didn't even have sufficient paper work to be Americans. They didn't give a shit. They knew how lazy we were and that we would pass right over them. I say that to say that if we really had our shit tight, they would have been deported before 9/11 because they didn't have the right documentation. We didn't check. We didn't ask. The funny thing is that the immigration debate never brings this up(that's how i know its more about taxation than security). The airline security doesn't get paid enough to check 110% all the time, barely even enough for 85%. They don't give shit either. What the hell does showing my ID 4 fucking times have to do with airline security? I guess a terrorist can't get a fake ID, huh...

It is merely a deterrent not security. There's a difference. It wouldn't get me so incensed if this were highway speeding or shoplifting we were trying to deter, but this is national fucking security here, man. Can't we get some profile specialists, some body language analysts, some highly trained guys/gals with AK'S waiting for shit to pop off? Now, THAT'S security. What we have now’s not security just an inconvenience. Sound and fury; signifying nothing. IRAQ!)

"...That is [the] premise This story will draw a conclusion from it and show at the same time that the premise is incorrect. That will be a new thing in logic."
-O. Henry "A Service of Love"-1912(A nice one for the whole "War for Oil" sentiment some seem to have. This premise tells us that if we go to War in Iraq, recipient, by genetic and logistic fortuity, of 1/5 of the world's oil reserve, we will ease the price of gas, oil's derivative. Now, that is our premise: acquisition of commodity by force. The conclusion: No one will win this war. It is evil and strains resources that could be put to better use. Using myriad vital resources to acquire one. Uh-huh. However, you and I know gas prices are 4 bones per gallon now( I like the correlation with “4 bones” and a fossil fuel). I started driving almost ten years ago between the first Gulf conflict and the present one. Gas was 99 cents. But, this war's going to keep gas affordable. Uh-huh. Guess that's that "new thing in logic")

"One ever feels his twoness-an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder. "

-W.E.B DuBois "The Souls of Black Folk"-1903(We had to read this for summer reading at NCAT's(AGGIE PRIDE!!!) Honors Program. What pissed me off the most about that book was the book's a HUNDRED YEARS OLD and the same nonsense is still going on. If you ever had the glorious pleasure or genetic misadventure of being black in America, YOU know exactly what Mr. DuBois is talking about. Dead On!)

"O wonder!

How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is!

O brave new world

That has such people in’t!"

-William Shakespeare "The Tempest"-1623 (this pretty much sums up the love and caring we humans are capable of when we want to try. Take Katrina for example. There were people where I lived -Stamford, CT-that were taking time off work to drive supplies down to N.O. Not to mention how this describes our firefighters, policemen, teachers, soldiers, and etc. sacrificing everyday to make life a little better for all. Indeed, how beauteous mankind is...or can be)

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

Fighting Tyler Durden-Ghostwriting in Hip-hop

The mark of a truly intelligent mind is the ability to understand two opposing viewpoints at the same time. As Bill Maher says, “O. J. killed his wife AND the cops are crooked. ” However, for one reason or another the world doesn’t like this. You have to have only one viewpoint. They'll call you finicky, whishy-washy, or fickle otherwise. Don’t worry. I understand you. After all, I am a Gemini. With that said, this segment will analyze the pro and the con viewpoints of the world’s many polarizing topics with the hopes that we can make a decision. If not, you can take solace in the fact that ambivalence is better than apathy.

Today's Topic: Ghostwriting-Hip-hop Scourge or Savior?

Pro: Ghostwriting ain’t so bad. First of all, Ghostwriting allows writers to get their words out to the masses that would otherwise go unheard. There are many people out there that have something to say, whose words will help that confused teen or that world-weary adult. Unfortunately, everyone’s words don’t get the opportunity to shine. I love hip-hop but I admit that the mainstream tends to skew towards the superficial. Not only do you have to be hot but you have to have that “look”. Well, everyone ain’t pretty and everyone can’t make it big in this game regardless of what they have to say. This is where ghostwriting provides a necessary service.

It allows, for lack of better terms, un-cute or uncharismatic people to help the masses with their words. Secondly, ghostwriting, in a sense, makes hip-hop better. Think of it as literary steroids. Let’s use one of the best employers of ghostwriters in the biz as an example: Sean “P-Diddy” Combs, Mr. “If I don’t write it, I recite it well”. So, its 1996 and arguably the best rapper in the game, Biggie Smalls, has just been struck down in a hail of bullets. The hip-hop world was devastated. We were angry, sad, confused, and most of all, lost. What we needed was a tribute song to help mend our wounds, to help us move on. Think about if Puff tried to write that song by himself. It would have been undoubtedly wack (no offense puff, but come one now). Enter Jadakiss to save the day and help create the best tribute song ever(sorry “candle in the wind“…you just ain‘t hot enough). How can something that makes the universal solvent of music better be so bad? Ghostwriting is a hip-hop savior, providing work for those who can’t make it as a rapper but can as a writer and making the hip-hop world a hotter place. Gotta love that!

Con: Ghostwriting is the worst thing that happened to the rap game since…well, ever! My mom would say she hated rap because it doesn’t take any talent to talk. While she has no idea how hard it is to write a song, she kind of has a point. The main talent for a rapper is what he or she says. If you don’t write your verse, just what exactly is your purpose? You are nothing but a delivery guy/gal. Plus, how can a musical medium that so ardently desires the “real” tolerate such fakeness? It’s a travesty, I tell you, travesty. Additionally, the pro argument would have you believe that ghostwriting provides work for needy writers. No, it’s the exact opposite. Generally, the writer of a verse sells that verse to the “artist” for a respectable sum. Said “artist” turns around and makes millions or more. What part of the game is that? I bet Jadakiss was well compensated for “missing you”, but think about the money Puff made off that song?

Ghostwriting is exploitative in nature and denies good, salient writers the chance to earn their worth. Moreover, ghostwriting helps further the industry’s superficial nature. So what this writer looks like Quasimodo on a bad hair day? His music is good. Ghostwriting gives the hip-hop industry a reason to keep talented writers out of the spotlight. How can we ever make a change if the industry can create “rappers” by using good looks and someone else’s words. Its not fair. No one is more affected by this more than female rappers. Take Jean Grae. This lady is a beast on the mic, but ghostwriters make sex kittens like Foxy brown, li’l Mama, or li’l Kim into phony lyricists while the real lyricist goes unnoticed. Ghostwriting is a pox on the entire hip-hop industry and should be abolished. Write your congressperson. Petition at the courthouse. We need ghostwriting in hip-hop to stop.

Decision: Pretty good arguments on both sides, gentlemen. Ghostwriting does pretty much contradict the realness of hip-hop and makes stars out of people who, for all intents and purposes, are untalented. However, Ghostwriting does give people a chance to get their words to millions of people who may either want to eschew the limelight or aren’t quite built for it. Plus, it does make hip-hop game in the long run. I’m going to have to go with the PRO side on this one. My love of good music will trump authenticity and exploitation every time. How about you?

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

Loquacious Levity 4-22-2008

Goldfish. What in the hell is wrong with them. So what I put too much food in your tank. You have to eat it all until you die? Damn. But hey, if you want to teach your kids about life and death, get 'em a damn goldfish(I'm a little bitter yes..I loved that damn goldfish)...I bring up goldfish because as frustrating as it is to own them just to watch them die, its a perfect metaphor for the dangers of gluttony. Too much money will be the death of you(obtaining it or showing too much of it). Too much food will be the death of you(did we really need "Super Size Me" to tell us that McDonald's will kill you? For Christ's sake, too much celery will kill ya). Contrarily, too much of this blog will cause

intentional incidents of intellect stimulus or it'll kill ya...a toss-up really.

On that note, the only valid reason to criminalize marijuana would be if humans died like goldfish when they ate too much (indirectly, yes you will of course, but it wont be as instant as a goldfish. Probably lose a foot or something first). Can you imagine the widespread carnage when the munchies hit after a Grateful Dead Concert? OD'ing off Twinkies!!! It would be horrid!!! Luckily that ain't the case...HAPPY BELATED 4/20, to all my Potheads out there.

If you didn't know how random I can be by these LL posts, let me help you visualize: on my coffee table right now is a bowl of chicken bones and a bottle of acetone...Delicious!!!

Isaiah Thomas has been let go as coach of the NY Knicks. 'Bout F-ing time... He wasn't fired from the organization altogether however he was given another position in the organization. In this newly created position, he cannot have contact with the team(to many a knick fans delight), he has no one reporting to him, and he will not make any decisions. Sounds like a crock right? BOLLOCKS!!! Even though he is an administrative neuter, the brother still gets paid 18 Million for doing AB-SO-LUTE-LEEEEE NOTHING!!!!! Hahaha, sweet! So I don't have to stop asking the Isaiah Thomas job security question after all(woo, that was close), but I will tweak it a little...

Ask yourself: Don't you wish you had Isaiah Thomas's job? 18 million for doing jack shit...cant beat that with a flat-footed, slow center with a heart problem.

When Shakespeare said in Macbeth "it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury; signifying nothing", do you think he was talking about Airport Security? 300 and some years earlier. Damn, the man was good.

I consider myself a wordsmith but I could have never come up with such a clinical and sterile term for the slaughter of millions of people. The term is Ethic Cleansing...I sarcastically tip my hat to you Slobodan...

I guess to his defense, if you name your son slobodan, you kinda gotta figure he's gonna wild out eventually.

I heard the the Pope, with all solemnity, finished his Mass at Yankee Stadium with "Fuck da Sox." I don't know though. It sounds fishy. Can I get some confirmation on this? You'd think he would be an Anaheim Angels fan, but hey anything is possible (Oh yeah, just bought my ticket to hell with that one).

OK, so Obscure Countdown week kinda petered out. I went of vacation. Hey, being a lazy blogger with unorthodox prose is tiring DAMMIT! But uh-ra...ima start it back next month, definitely...probably...certainly...maybe...

On that note...You know what phrase many people(i think even Shakespeare) use from time to time that makes absolutely no sense(no, not "irregardless"...)? Its when someone says, "when and if something happens..." "When" represents certainty and "If" represents probability. It can't occur at the same time...either its certain or its not...It confuses the hell out of me...like "When and If we get married..." What? Are you telling me its definitively probable or probably definitive? Its like verbally hedging your bets. Pick a side dammit.

Will people stop saying that "if we weren't in Iraq, gas prices would be even higher" because that is COMPLETE bullshit...We have been in and out of the middle east for one reason or another since Reagan and gas prices have just now gotten out of control...To say that, to even think that, will continue to give commodity crazy presidents a reason to start wars for oil over there...and the need for oil is only gonna get worse, people. Oil reserves are dwindling...When there's scarcity, there will be blood...no "if" just a matter of "when". We do not need empty rhetoric to make things worse ....so let's nip this little sentiment in the bud now, shall we, before OUR kids are fighting over there, too

Man, I turn 26 in a few months...its gonna suck not to be in the hot demographic anymore(18-25)...Does this mean that Budweiser commercials won't be funny to me anymore? Maxim magazine will lose its "feel" or better yet I will lose my feel on me hovering over it?? Well, i guess....we'll...just..see about the Budweiser commercials, anyway. I don't think I will ever grow out of scantily clad women. Just don't see it.

Barack Obama recently made some comments about small town xenophobia that we're DEAD FUCKING ON...I am from a small town(Kinston, NC...BABY!!!) and what he said about hating immigrants or minorities b/c they are easier to blame one's problems on and that the general disenfranchisement of the proletariat(sorry reading "1984" now...the general population) towards the government causes them to focus on inane issues is, I repeat, dead fucking on!!! We don't like change. We don't like outsiders. Most people are broke where I come from. The blacks blame the whites for their situation. The whites blames the blacks. They both blame the immigrants. The apathy towards government is staggering. Nothing ever changes. Our whole fucking state is broke, etc, etc, etc. But, politicians look at us and call us the "salt of the earth" like we fucking like our situations. Like it fucking makes up for the lack of state funding, the way farmers can't pay their bills anymore, the way you only listen to us every 4 yrs. Yes, we are pissed, but we dont know where to channel our anger. Most politicians just try to placate us instead of actually helping us...

Of course, Obama's refreshing and insightful comments were taken the wrong way. However, I like how he never rescinded his statement just clarified it. He never backed down or compromised his overall stance. A politician with BALLS(the metaphorical kind pretty sure most of them have the anatomical ones...). GOT DAMN that is refreshing, but alas...*SIGH*I really liked you, Obama, but you are not gonna make it very far telling the public what they NEED to hear instead than telling them what they WANT to hear...too bad though...he would have made a GREAT president when and if he was elected...

See it doesn't make any sense...

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

Obscure countdown week: "Punch a nucca on sight" countdown

Hello ladies and gentleman, ok gentleman. All this week i will be doing countdowns of obscure topics. I know you get tired of those conventional countdowns, hottest celebs, best rappers...Well, look no further for innovation. All this week I will be hitting ya with exclusive countdowns of the most inane topics ever to grace the internet. So, let's get the ball rolling with this gem:

Today's listing is a countdown of individuals who I vow to punch on sight if I ever meet them. I mean, no "hello", no "oh, i loved your..."straight swinging...Hey, i believe in non-violent resolutions like the next man, but some nuccas just have it coming. These nuccas to be precise. While this list is of a purely selfish nature and Ill probably never meet these people in person, please feel free to give a quick sock for the good ol' full metal if you ever happen upon them...

5. Soulja Boy-First, spell your got damn name right. Fuck's wrong with you...Second, that "Superman" song is one of the worst pieces of audio excrement that I have ever had the displeasure of hearing. Ugh. Maybe its the Atari reject beat or maybe its the hat-cat-bat rhyme scheme. I dont know. What I do know is that it literally hurts my ears. I have been party to many a terrible song, even liked a few, but this song is just too much. You know what? It aint even really his fault, but I am still punching this nucca on sight just off GP...

4. Tyler Hansbrough-This is actually kind of a compliment. This dude has beasted my favorite college basketball team, Duke, for 3 yrs now...This SOB continues to come down court and hit the weirdest shots i have ever seen. Not only that, he also finds a way to drop like 40 pts likes its nothing. I respect his game dont get me wrong, but you cant just put up 28-12 on Duke for 3 years and not expect a Cam Crazy to do something, well, crazy...on second thought, he's got like a good foot and a half on me so uh-ra...

4. Adam Vinatieri-Yeah that's better...I know the man was just doing his job but he took our Superbowl away(2004-Carolina panthers for you newcomers...And, yes I am still bitter about it!!!) so my man gotta feel something off the strength ...actually, a punch in the gut wouldn't be fair...maybe Ill just give him a charlie horse or something, but its gotta be something.

3. Jeremiah Wright-If you haven't heard, this is Presidential candidate Barack Obama's church pastor who was recently recorded saying grossly inappropriate comments(in church no less) both racial and gender based that would make Farrakhan blush. Now, I generally don't make it a habit of assailing men of the cloth but this nucca is wilding. I have a problem with anyone that uses religion to further personal preferences or beliefs, but its more than that. Doesn't this man realize what the hell we're trying to do here? Doesn't he realize what kind of historic precedent we can accomplish in Novemeber? SHUT THE HELL UP... Barack already has enough problems with his Arabic name, the republican political machine, and a reliably superficial American constituency without you and your silly ass comments giving his opponents fodder. Hey, I would usually blame a voting public for caring about superficial topics instead of hardcore issues but I don't see that fact changing for a while(ill do my best to help this but I am not making any promises). Until we care about the issues(the economy, foreign policy, etc) instead of silliness(what someone said like 25 yrs ago, what someone did like 25 years ago, etc) you need to keep your yap shut. Expect a swift punch in the gut if i ever see you...Oh, it might behoove you to read the Red Writing in the Bible before you go off on your racist(yes, black folks can be racist, too) tirades...Jeeeeee-zus i can't believe this nucca...Let's just keep it moving...

2. Anyone who passes judgement on hip-hop without even listening-Man, I get so fucking tired of people who got something to say about rap when its obvious that they don't even listen to it. This means you Oprah, Bill Ho-Reilly, Delores tucker(old school reference i know but she still pisses me off...congressional hearing? For Tupac? Really?) All they know is that the public is outraged about something so they feel the need to join in on the protest. I know that rappers can be homophobic and misogynistic at times but damn, there are rappers who don't speak even curse , have a range of topics and try to raise consciousness about the black struggle. Why don't you talk about them? Hmm? Besides, most rappers refer to just hoes and bitches in their music. Man, a ho is a ho; a bitch is a bitch(peep Jay-z's "niggas and bitches"for a distinct clarification). They just happen to be women b/c most rappers are men. They are not talking about all women, geesh. Whats the impetus to even take it there? Moreover, to extrapolate to a population, don't you need a representative sample? A few rappers is not enough to assume in the first damn place. I know these people don't really listen to hip-hop because if they really gave a listen to whats out there, they wouldn't just give a blanket generalization of the music. There are a lot of things wrong with hip-hop(as well as rock and pop) but we got it. The fans will try and fix it ourselves. We don't need your help because its obvious that you don't understand whats going on ...ooooooooooo, you guys so got a jab coming...I cant even think straight. Let's just move on....

1. The soon to be former chief executive that shall remain nameless in this blog-Unless you have been on the planet Trafalmadore with Billy Pilgrim for the past seven years, you know exactly who I am talking about and exactly why I wanna slug him. Unlike the other selections on the list that may eventually be removed or trumped, its on like popcorn forever with this man...

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!

Requiem for a Rut

Highway Hypnosis is a phenomenon experienced by drivers navigating the American Highway System. When this occurs, drivers are lulled into a dreamlike state by a homogeneous American landscape. This causes a driver to lose track of his/her surroundings while driving. This could simply cause the driver to arrive at his or her destination without realizing it or it could lead to a devastating accident. It’s a coin flip. C’est La Vie, no?…

Now, have you ever felt like a personality neuter, meaning you just felt devoid of any creativity, opinions, zest, pain, or even joy? Good, me too. As a result, I haven’t written anything in a few days. I just haven’t had the inspiration or energy, and I would rather not ramble for the sake of rambling, despite HTML evidence to the contrary. The colloquial term for this is called “a rut.” It was the same thing every morning: Wake, Smoke, Shower, Iron, Commute, Smoke, Arrive, Work, Eat, Smoke, Work, Commute, Smoke, Arrive, Dine, Be a Boyfriend (couldn’t quite find the verb for that one), Sleep.

This was accompanied, or you could say facilitated, by four days of moist overcast in Stamford, CT. It was as if the Earth were crying and I was empathetic. In other words, I was in a rut. That was until sunlight broke the overcast like happy memories slicing through grief. On that day (yesterday actually) I saw a sunset. Call me a hippie, but there is nothing quite as beautiful, as humbling, as miraculous as a sunset.

Let me to help you visualize: A rock weighing trillions of tons in mass revolved around a sphere of pure energy in a formless void. The subsequent effect that day as with every before it was the movement of said ball of energy across our sky. Atmospheric Gases and Refracted beams of white light blend into one. Purple, Red, and Indigo all swimming around a yellow nucleus. It was beautiful. All that was missing was Bob Ross and his “happy little trees”. Upon viewing, I was instantly struck by a joke to write. Rut broken.

A rut is highway hypnosis on the trip from our first dream to our eternal one. A sustained rut may simply take you to your deathbed without realizing it or it may cause a devastating accident: your children become adults but are strangers to you, your significant other leaves for lack of the love he/she needs/deserves, you just don’t enjoy life anymore, etc. There is so much pain and suffering in this world that we have drifted into our own dream-like states, medians to separate ourselves from the hideous highway of life. Life is hard, as is anything worth having, but there is so much beauty and joy in life to let it just zoom by.

Find your own sunset, be it a college basketball game(if that Mario Chalmers shot in the national championship game last night didn’t snap you out of a funk…I don’t know what to tell ya), the laughter of your children, the love of a significant other. Find something to help you pay attention to life before it passes you by because when its gone...well you know the rest. As for me: nothing but sunny skies the rest of the week. That should hold me for awhile.

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Happy Driving!!!(By the way, be on the look out for “Obscure countdown week” starting Monday)