Mythbuster: Female Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton

This segment will be done time to time to dispell any myths out in the ether. I have put on my little funny hat and grew a goatee. So, lets bust a myth today!

A lot of people, for what ever reason, have long spouted myths on why a woman cant be president. This myth is based on a longstanding tradition of male gender bias. We were given the strength, but somehow we feel that makes us better in every aspect of society. WELL, IT DOESN'T! We are no better or worse(well maybe worse depending on who you ask). Lets bust this myth using hillary clinton's bid for presidential election, shall we?

Myth: A female president will lose control over emotions due to menstration...

Buster: I know we have all felt a little bit of "menstral wrath" and i admit it sucks. However, most times you never know when a female is on her period. Do you? Now,that could mean that you are inattentive or it could mean that women, who have menstrated since oh i dont know 13, know how to handle a flux in hormones or that all the poppycock is overexaggerated and there really isnt a negative change in overall demeanor. But all that aside, the average presidential candidate is 55 years old and Hil-dog is 50 since october. Given that menopause, the end of a female's child bearing years, usually brings an end to menstration and begins around 50, i dont think we have to worry about Hillary, to quote family guy, "...menstrating all over the city"

Myth: A female president will not have the tenacity and ferocity of a man, thereby opening up blah blah blah "terrorists"...

First off, i know there are a lot of folks that hate america(not b/c of our freedom but we tend to be dicks from time to time), but lets cool out with the terrorists okay. Yes they are out there and they always have and always will exist but every facet of american society does not have to be affected. If that happens, then, well, the terrorists win. Ok, back to the myth. Second, A female is not physically stronger than a man generally, but possesses an innate painkilling mechanism instilled for childbirth(not to say that doesnt still hurt like the dickens). In essence, the phrase "take it like a man" is erroneous. But thats besides the point, I just wanted to put that out there. Have you ever seen any female of any mammalian species when their young are threaten?...Shit, you better look out. Ever scorned a woman? Shit, hell have no fury. Ever seen a half price sale at Davids Bridal? Shit, there may be blows thrown...

The ferocity is there gentlemen. Its just not expended due to a misplaced step on someone's sneakears or b/c someone said "fuck the redsox"(oh and btw fuck the redsox. just had to get that in there). Have you ever thought that living in a patriarchal society and being physically weaker than men have given women an ability to resolve conflict without the violence. Yeah, you know what they call diplomacy...Diplomacy doesnt stop terrorism, but it sure does curb the creation of new terrorists. Besides, a female president will still have her finger on "the button" for any "one wan' testa". Ask yourself: breasts or penis when one of the most skilled and technologically advance armies ever to walk the planet is waiting in the wings for your call, "whats the difference"?

Myth: Only white males can be president

Buster: Ok, so this one isnt as explictly felt as the other two, but its overt in the voting habits of the public. Christ, for the first 150 years of this country's existence, there were only white men voting. Hey, I am not saying that a woman would be the best president(hard to beat kennedy, lincoln and washington). What i am saying however is that we have voted white males 42 times in this nations history. And, there have been plenty of bad ones(taft, fillmore wasnt all that hot, and the one that shall go unnamed in this column, yeah him too) and good ones. That is to say that greatness isnt always instilled in a cream colored nutsack. Its gonna be a toss up with anyone, regardless of color or ovarian processes. Yes my friends, its about time we give someone else a shot. Don't you think? At least, there wouldnt be any BJ's in the oval office any more. Or at least received anyway. No, i am pretty sure if you reached the presidency you wont have to give 'em any more...

anyway, give hillary a chance if you stand for her principles. Don't let a dearth of testicles affect you. She has the right to be a bad president like the next white,black, mexic..ok who am i kidding white male. Equal ineptitude under the law is what i say!!!! MYTH BUSTED!!!

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!

Loquacious Levity 2-5-2008

I think a rose by any other name would smell different. For thousands of years people have referred to roses as roses. You know the thorns, and you know the colors and of course, you know the smell. There is a certain connotation to the word. Now, lets say we started calling roses- milk and milk- roses. Don't you think milk would start to smell like roses and vice versa?...

So what i guess im saying is...you dont experience words. Just connotations. If you had been told ice cream was poisonous from birth, wouldnt you stay the hell away from ice cream? Wouldnt it smell sour to you regardless of the condition? Or did i just fucking blow your mind...

Or was that the worse theory i have ever had about anything.

Some superbowl commercials cost about 90 grand per 30 seconds...3 grand a second? I understand the price given the number of people that will see it but hot damn i dont think id pay 3 grand/sec for anything. Well, non-sexual that is...

But, that would have to be one hell of a lay though

Happy Black History Month!

I just heard about some virtuous gentleman that was a civil rights activist in the 50's and 60's. Good guy. Powerful speaker, but the poor fellow got shot while he gave a speech. I wonder why I dont hear about him any other time of year? Thats weird.

I know that February is black history month b/c of Lincolns birthday, etc., etc. But, i mean did we have to get the shortest month though? Damn even when america is playing nice, they still fuck us over...

Where the hell is my 40 acres and a mule...

BTW, I would hate to live in an era where 40 acres and a mule represent compensation.

Man, its march 1st and i know i forgot to do something...umm...read some black authors, watched that PBS special about black stars and their ancestors. hmmm what did i forget...

Oh yeah, to bribe my sweetheart for all the fuck-ups thus far and to come...damn...

So if i were broke and couldn't buy a valentine's gift, would that mean i didnt love you...

Of course though if im broke, i probably havent taken you on a date. So shit man you've made it this far...a hug and a lick should do you fine

So its Super Tuesday today. Uh-huh. Riiiighhht....Now remind me why the hell we are voting 9 mths before the presidential election.

Since its Black History Month, lets put a moratorium on the black man=big penis thing. I mean im alright(havent received any complaints) but i get tired of having to live up to the standard...

Oh yeah, another moratorium on the use of the word "racism"in inappropriate circumstances. Just b/c barry bonds has to go to trial, b/c mike vick had to go to jail, b/c a white ref. calls a foul on a black player, or even b/c some jerk like Imus calls someone nappy does not mean that it is racism. No lets reserve that for the inordinate amount of minorities behind bars. Lets reserve that for the lack of minority business loans; the lack of minority home owners. Lets reserve that for our immigration policy, etc, etc. To keep throwing this word around cheapens it. It cheapens everytime a black man was lynched for looking a white woman. It cheapens every time a native american(and thats the only PC term i used on the regular b/c to say indians is actually erroneous given that it was given b/c of a lost explorer) had to walk thousands of miles just to move to another land(the trail of tears: read up on that. it was FUCKED up and my state did that...)...
This word is about hate, unadulterated, turn a good man crazy hate. I spoke earlier on connnotations. Lets not cheapen the connotation of the word. When this word is uttered it should reflect the gravity of the situation it describes...not just b/c you didnt get your way.

This isnt like the term "nigger", niggah, nucca or any of its derivatives, b/c of the fact that the term has been taken back by the people it has been used against(call it empowerment or call it misuse). This changes the connotation of the word...
Now, nigga can be used in its original context, but there again its about connotation. I have no problem with the word used in a slang way. I have a problem though when it is used to convey hate from one to another.

The funny thing is the only difference in physiological terms b/t me and a white man, a hindu man, or an eskimo is the level of melanin in my skin which changes the color of my skin and creates a darker tone.

And, apparently the size of my penis too, but thats up for debate

Bruce Eagle the full metal. Peace!!!

"You tried your very best...

but i guess your best wasn't good enough"

hahahaha, Man, was that not the best super bowl since NippleGate yesterday?

The titans; The 18-ohmygod Patriots vs. the lowly NFC representative, the Giants. The Super Bowl was supposed to be a foregone conclusion. A mere formality. Lucky for the Giants, the NFL makes you play a game before they hand out the Lombardi trophy.

The funny thing is is that this game did not need to be hyped, especially not for 2 weeks. You had the NY vs. Boston angle. The David vs. Goliath angle. So many stories So much time. And by God the media worked every story to death. By time kickoff came, there was a feeling of "just get this shit over with, please." Frankly, I was rooting for the Giants but was getting prepared for a blowout b/c lets face it: the patriots had the best statistical season ever. Points were nothing for this juggernaut. So, no matter how good you thought the Giants defense was how the hell can they possibly compete with the greatest offense of all time?

But, not only did the Giants slow down the greatest offense ever, they broke the 72 dolphins' champagne bottle over their heads...The Giants defensive line was swarming, penetrating, and relentless. I swear i thought time would stop if Tommy Brady's golden bottom ever touched the ground. However the earth continued to exist after the first brady sack. The giants defensive line like that so much they decided to sack Tommy 4 more times...Eli, formerly referred to as SHE-li, completed one of the greatest plays i have ever seen. You know the play, dont you? You saw it and said "what the fuck is going on". In the fourth quarter, down by 4, the Pats brought beaucoup pressure on Eli, formerly referred to as SHE-li, but Eli never left his feet. He was never planted on his wooden ass. Rather, he shrugged off those blue defenders. Read that line again. This manchild, formerly referred to as SHE-li, formerly referred to as that bum, formerly referred to as "Not as good as the other"Manning, shrugged off 300 lbs men by sheer force of will. Yes, this MANning stood at the cross roads of immortal and irrelevant and threw a frozen rope towards immortality...This pass was then received by David Tyree. Yes, THAT david tyree, the one you've never heard of. This was no common reception. David, in essence, caught the ball with the crown of his helmet and brought it down with a juiced Rodney harrison fighting him all the way down. This play set up the winning score with 30 seconds left...

Eli manning was awarded the super bowl MVP, rightfully so for an award given to one individual. However, this is a misnomer. Eli played amazingly. The defense played astoundingly. Everyone played championship ball. Everyone deserved the MVP. It wasn't that the patriots played a bad game. No, not in the first. They were just as stellar as usual. Albeit, belicheck, formerly referred to as "the genius", should have kicked a field goal when it was 4th and 13, but I am sure Tom Coughlin, formerly referred to as "crotchety old coot", isnt complaining. No, the Giants just played a better game that 9 times out of 10 would have garnered a loss to the 18-ohmygod Patriots, greatest offense of all time.

But, this was the 10th time. This Super Bowl, as most do, changed the entire outlook of the Giants, formerly referred to the "underachieving Giants". Eli will finally have the breathing room he needs to grow into a premier QB. Strahan gets a ring to wear on the set of whatever sports program he eventually joins. It saved Coughlin's job. Yes, there will be a lot of name changes due to this win. The 18-ohmygod Patriots will now be referred to as the 18 and irrelevant Patriots,the "not quite" Patriots. No matter the words the public chooses to describe this Giants Team from the Back page of the NY Post to the muttered utterances of Patriots fans, I think Eli, David Tyree, Michael Strahan and the rest of this team, formerly referred to as "the lowly NFC representatives", will like "Super Bowl Champion New York Giants" the best.

Congrats Gentlemen and Ill see you at the parade tomorrow. GO GIANTS!!!!

"You can quote me on that!!!"

"If the milk's sour, I ain't the kind of pussy to drink it"- Rory Breaker "Lock, Stock, and Two smoking barrels"

"Take your tongue out of my ass, old Gary"-Brick Top "Snatch"

"The devil planted fear inside the black babies..."-Ghostface

"Beef is not what Jay said to Nas. Beef is when the working folks cant find jobs. So they trying to find niggas to rob. Trying to find bigger guns so that can finish the job" -Mos Def

"Fuck your punk ass daddy"-Snoop Dogg "Baby Boy"

"Marvin, why didn't you tell us someone was in the bathroom with a goddamn hand cannon" Vinnie Vega "Pulp Fiction"

"Whatever the fuck ever, nigga"-Denzel in his "oscar worthy performance" in "Training Day"

"Seriously bitch you need to let me get on that piece of wood with you...take turns or something shit...its freezing out here. "-Leonardo DiCaprio "Titanic the real-life version"

"I belive that sushi will be good once i get past the fact that its raw. But, I cant get past the fact that its raw"- my mom

"Can you spare a dime for a sista"-Lindsay Lohan

"Let me just stick the tip in"-Every 16 yr old male since the beginning of time

"So you mean to tell me some prick named Mitt is beating me?"-Every republican presidential candidate in private moments

"Frankly, i dont think a woman can run the country. What with her bleeding for five days and not dying and all..."-Redneck hick in backwoods Lenoir County, NC

"Hook that mutha fucker straight"-Some cat giving me directions outside of a waffle house

"You better get this bitch 'fore i toss her ass out of that window.."-A drunk bruce eagle's retort to a corpulent young lady's attitude

"Disarm" Kurt Vonnegut "Deadeye Dick"

"Yo, these peanuts are making my turds chunky and it itches on the way out"-Bruce Eagle in his doctoral thesis "This has got to be Too Much Information"

"You can quote me on that" Everyone that i've quoted(yep, thats what they told me so no lawsuits!!!)

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

Pinky is very disappointed in you...

Adam Pac-Man Jones, supposedly named so because of your voracious appetite as a child, I beg you please for the sake of your career:

Just say NO to strip clubs...I like the ladies like the next man but your voracity for nude females is ruining you life. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. And, we are worried about you, Pac. Enroll yourself in a clinic/rehab. Boobies are going to destroy you. You are headed for a very bad place, Pac. You are talented, lucky for you, so you will get another chance, but stop making it so hard for yourself...

Get yourself some help a trenchcoat, some shades and a membership to a discreet adult shop. You can see all the b00bies you want at home. But please just stay at home...it aint worth it.

I hate to see you potentially throw away a good career b/c of stupidity. Talk to mikey see if he wouldnt change everything if he could...Im just saying. I wanna see you on tv for running back I-N-T's not for slapping T-I-T's...

Bruce Eagle the Interventioner. Peace!!!

Need a Lift?

I am not gonna lie to you. I get a real kick out of reading my blog...I just hope you get the same enjoyment...

But, seriously, The blogosphere is amazing. In this ever-changing world in which we live in(how often do you get to take a Paul McCartney quote and put it in a sentence? 10 dollars to the cat that can name the song) , we have so many avenues to get information, advice, porn, drugs, anything you want. There are blogs out there that just have pictures of people's cats and there are blogs dedicated to giving the public the info that it needs that the evening news is for some reason not doing anymore(gonna go ahead and tell you this aint one of 'em though). So yeah, you have to deal with the bull sometimes(pop-ups, etc) but there is a wealth of information out there and I love it. So if you happen upon this blog in your travels on the superhighway, thanks for stopping by and know that I really didnt mean for this post to come off so smug. Really, I am humble. I wouldn't go as far as humble, but not a prig. Yeah thats the best phrase...Just thought I'd let you know...

So keep thumbing it my friends and I hope you find the Grail you are looking for b/c its out there(did i give it to you? No? Well...yeah its out there). I hope you have as much fun searching as I do providing. Oh, the song was "live and let die". I mean, did you really expect me to give you a chance to get 10 dollars? Its the equivalent exchange, i know, but it aint that real..

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!

Loquacious Levity 1-29-08

I just saw "No Country for Old Men" and stumbled onto one of my fav movie lines: "Whats the most you ever lost on a coin flip" The murderer in the movie asks this to a cashier while deciding whether or not to kill him...

What was so great about that scene was how the actors played it, subtle and nuanced. It was funny (if it were real, then of course it wouldnt be funny. What? Do you think I'm heartless) after the murderer asks the coin question, how the cashier's whole demeanor(previously congenial in that way only us southerners can be) changed. Classic, exactly how anyone wouldve acted if asked that question.

This movie is an open ended type of movie. The type where it isn't overwritten. You know, when the movie DOESNT have to spoonfeed you every detail you need to know. The Deer Hunter, Eastern Promises, The Departed and No Country are examples of movies where you have to read into the character's emotions. And, if you have great actors you dont have to spoonfeed the audience. We will be able to read into their emotions. Its refreshing to have to think sometimes...

But, other times it's not.

Jay-z says his "American Ganster" album was what he was feeling while thinking about the life of Frank Lucas. That's all fine and good. Its hot. We actually got a "Reasonable Doubt" album out of a man thats far removed from the "Reasonable Doubt" lifestyle. Now, when Nas did a sort of theme album in "It was written" after the classic "Illmatic" he was chastised for it...Im just saying

Say what you want about Dave Mays and Benzino. I miss the hell out of "The Source". I mean that was the hip-hop bible in like '96. For Christ Sakes, its called "The Source." If you walked into a classroom before class started(I guess i am dating myself abit) and saw a huddle of guys around desk and it wasn't an Eastbay Catalog(mail order sneaker catalog. I never understood that. Guys going gaga over shoes? I mean jordans are hot and all, but it aint that real) they were looking at, it was a Source. Man, where else could you go for all that is hip-hop. The Hip-hop Quotable, the Unsigned hype, the interviews back when they werent biased. It all added up to, for lack of the a better word or lack of want to use one, the shit. What pisses me off the most about the demise of the one of the most pervasive elements in my hip-hop rearing was how they went out, bitchy and petty. With the Benzino's "beefs" with Eminem and 50 and the petty, classless, uncreative shots he took at them in the mag, he comprised the integrity of the bible and for that, I will never forgive him. The Source is under new management now, but it just aint the same. The source in the new millenium is like Jordan out of his 2nd retirement. You still peep the source from time to time because it's the Source, but its sad to see what was become what is...

How close is Bill Clinton to using up all his goodwill with black folks...Its not that he is dowNing Barack hard or something, but its very subtle. Remember, this cat is a Rhodes Scholar so he will never come out of his face all wrong and inarticulate. But, it feels like he is close to saying the wrong thing. Hilary should just lock him in a bunker with a 6 month supply of fetish porn, lotions, nuts and grains, and his saxaphone because right now the black vote(notoriously non-existent, but when its there...its a bump) is split b/t Barack(the black man) and the Clinton family(honorary black folk). If hilary loses the black support its a wrap. In fact, it may already be a wrap. She has thousands of years of male gender bias(and female, but lets keep that on the low) to overcome. Its gonna be a hump...

But quite frankly Barack and Hilary should run together. What hil lacks in likability, Barack wholeheartedly makes up for in charisma. The only other politician I've seen in my lifetime with the sheer level of charisma was, coincidentally, Bill Clinton. The man oozed charm. What Barack lacks in Pennsylvania Ave experience, Hil makes up for. I am not talking about the Senate. I mean the White House. I know she wasnt in the oval office with Bill(hahaha the Starr Report made that quite obvious) but you have to pick up SOMETHING at least by osmosis by just being there for eight years.

Ok, guys how bout this: let's try this time to elect a candidate that you wholeheartedly feel can manage a nation. Let's keep faith based voting out of it this time around( and i am a christian myself but it doesnt belong in politics). I dont want to tell you how to vote, thats personal, but please gay people and fetuses(barely even bigger than you fingernail) dont have SHIT to do with the world climate(weather and terrorism, for instance). Lets elect an intelligent, articulate diplomat. When the hell did we stop shooting for the moon with the "most powerful man in the world"? We need a man or woman to mend fences with the entire FUCKING WORLD, we dont need some fuck-nuts or fuck-lips in the white house...I am not judging you, but still...

I am not gonna lie to you. If McCain gets the nomination (highly unlikely, but still), I might vote for him. I like this guy. I like his stand on sports(hahaha steroids matter more than gay marriage you wont convince me otherwise). I like his stand on government(very un-republican). And this man is full of not-give-a-fuckery. What can you do to a man that has been a fucking prisoner of war. You cant rattle him. Congress doesnt scare him. He will be able to make principled, informed decisions and not be swayed...or I may just vote for Nader. Fuck it.

Man, I really didnt think this LL post was gonna end with a McCain reference. There wasnt a lot of levity in this one, but hey thats what you get when you freestyle blog...

Bruce Eagle the Full Metal. Peace!!!